seeking first

a matter of trust

one day to the next

or moment by moment

as we begin our journey to Canada

in two weeks

we will be in flight

though I have felt mid-air

for months

what to drive

where to sleep

are not yet settled

leaving me tipsy

and grabbing hold

of the only One Who knows

seeking first, last

always

So above all, constantly chase after the realm of God’s kingdom

and the righteousness that proceeds from him. 

Then all these less important things will be given to you abundantly.

Matthew 6:33 The Passion Translation

One Word 2018 - Wait

not a word I would have chosen

not me, the mistress of impatience

who wants the answers

yesterday

to remain stationary in readiness or expectation

remain in readiness for a purpose

a word to unpack through 2018

as I seek health related answers

as I plan for transitions

as He reveals more

I will share

for now, this is

what He has given 

the cup of waiting

I waited patiently and expectantly for the Lord; 

and He inclined to me and heard my cry.

Psalm 40:1 Amplified

psalm 4

Psalm 4

the world spins often 

too wide, fast

eyes strain to focus

heart grasping for a hold

in the midst of the wild

I get lost in the turning

help me to trust

deep, long

when I cannot see You

may my praise echo loud

from the haze

work to do

Yes, I have work to do here

I wake early, refusing sleep until late

still, away from what is normal

I have found my return

to communion with my Lord

His words this morning:

we are not finished

the plans I have 

stretch farther than you can see

on a road only made smooth

by faith

and trust in Me

its when you let go of My hand

and when you look around

that fear falls

like Peter on the water

he did the impossible

when his eyes

focused on Me

you, little one

can do likewise

Then Peter called to him, “Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.”
“Yes, come,” Jesus said. 
So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink.
 “Save me, Lord!” he shouted. Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. 
“You have so little faith,” Jesus said. “Why did you doubt me?”
Matthew 14:28-31 RSV

 

matter of trust

With so much uncertainty ahead of us

it is easy for my mind, heart and spirit 

to grow unsettled

as I sat journal open before the Lord

He gently urged me 

to not allow anxiety to rattle me

Have I not told you

worry not about tomorrow?

Does not today

have enough trouble?

What will come

will come

and I will Be there

and I will not Be surprised

I have already made provisions

for all circumstances

As always

it is a matter of trust

will you leave everything

in My hands?

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. 

Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day 

Matthew 6:34 RSV

 

when I ask

when I am silent and still

when I open myself enough to ask

He speaks

He does not leave me starving for His Word

I open my journal, reminded of my place

and His

In the storms and in the calm spaces

I Am

do not forget your need of Me

When you are tossed, rattled, you cry out

knowing where salvation waits

but like the Israelites

when the sailing is smooth and straight

you again begin to trust your own abilities

You are what you are

you are how you are

you are who you are

because I Am

I hold the wind, the sun, the stars

all things in My hand

the planets turn at My design

How much more do I care for you

created in My image, for My company 

and pleasure?

Just as day follows night follows day

My ways are structured and sure.

When you can not see the pattern

you must still trust it is there

broken but beloved with Emily




and jamming with Bonnie




 

View from my heart

April began cold and snowy, clouds covered the sun.  As the days moved through, mom passed from life to death.  And the snow fell again.

There were acts of terrorism, lives lost in Boston, explosions in Texas.  One thing flowed into the next.

And I thought like Job, I will yet praise Him.

Ice blew in on the lake and devastated summer cottages and year round homes.  The breath taking power of nature on display.

Nature roared again, in tornado winds that took lives and changed lives forever in Oklahoma. I wondered why I was growing numb.

In these parts there have been horrific highway encounters between cars and semis, more loss, more devastation.  Yesterday, in town, the roads were blocked by fire trucks, ambulances and police cars, the scene shrouded with cloths and my heart cracked to let the tears flow.

The view from here is jagged, hard, dark and sharp.  Life does not appear to be  a safe place.

But still my heart sees colour, bright, pure, shining.  Because He never changes, and His truth is more real than what I see.  I will grab hold of that in the centre of these clouds.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8 NIV

joining Lisa-Jo talking about view

and abiding with Cheryl

 

Breathe to My rhythm

We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. 

He is nearer than our own soul, 

closer than our most secret thoughts.  

A. W. Tozer

He knows what I'm thinking before I utter a single word.  He knows my struggles and my fears.  His response this morning, in the quiet of the dawning day:

You still need to learn to breathe to the rhythm of My timing, as irregular as it may feel to your flesh.

There will be times you feel like you can not keep up, as if there is not enough air to fill your lungs.  Lean into Me.  I Am what you need.

Other times you will feel that is you remain still one more moment you will burst.  Again I say, lean, press hard, allow Me to keep you in the place I have set you.

My plans.  My time.  My purposes.

It is all faith.  All trust.


in the quiet with Sandy

and abiding with Cheryl

 

Trust not myself

The Lord gave me the words courage, focus and trust for 2012. He has given me new words for the new year, yet I believe I am not release the old words but continue to hold them close.

I am reminded of what He shared with me:

You are correct to place no trust in your flesh, but -- you can trust the Me in you.

With all your heart you must trust the Lord and not your own judgement  Always let him lead you, and he will clear the road for you to follow. Proverb 3:5-6 Contemporary English Version

I can't rely on my emotions to tell me the truth
they so easily lead me in circles, running wild, spinning
I can't trust my own understanding
when I realize each day that I understand less and less
but indeed I hunger to know Him more
that I might trust the Him within



jamming with Bonnie about trust

 

Do you believe in His love?

Each morning, as part of our daily routine, we invite our dog Faith in for a visit.  She is always anxious to receive Rick's attention, gazing up at him with adoring and questioning eyes.  She knows that he is the boss and seems to need a verbal and physical reminder of his love.  Food is good; biscuits are a delight; chasing squirrels and birds and rodents a favourite activity but knowing she is loved is her greatest desire.  Sweet words, rubs and scratches send her off happy with tail wagging.  Her contentment lasts for a short time, but much like us, her belief soon needs reinforcement again.

"Do you love me?  Do you really love me?"  I seem to ask the same of my Heavenly Father, and though my head knows and believes, my heart seeks affirmation.

As I spent time in the silence with Him today, I opened my journal and He spoke to me about this very thing:

Just as your dog looks each day for approval from her master 

and confirmation of his love--

so too can you come to Me

for My love is sure

and never ending

and does not depend on what you've done

or who you are

but Who I Am

Let My love establish your balance and direction

let Me set the course for your day

acknowledge that My ways

are higher, deeper, wiser than your own

then in trust

let go

Jesus said, “If? There are no ‘ifs’ among believers. Anything can happen.” No sooner were the words out of his mouth than the father cried, “Then I believe. Help me with my doubts!”
Mark 9:23-24 The Message

As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, He said to the ruler of the synagogue, “Do not be afraid; only believe.” Mark 5:36 NKJV

walking with Emily and the imperfect redeemed

 

Come in trust

When I get really afraid

I come to you in trust.

I’m proud to praise God;

fearless now, I trust in God.

What can mere mortals do?

Psalm 56:3-4 The Message

 

Laura Rath is kindly hosting the Sunday Chorus this week

 

The in-betweens

Snow has left the world outside my window clean, fresh and silent.

The flakes fall so fast and fierce it is hard to see.

As I opened my journal, 

the Lord reminded me to trust His lead

not my own vision.

When you feel you are going in circles, trust that I Am leading you.

Even those places you return to again and again are seen in a different way each time 

for I have changed you in the "in-betweens".

I have a plan and a purpose for all things.

Why should you think this would not include all parts of your life?

Circles, lines, uphill or down --

Listen, follow My lead.

Seeking the secret place with Cheryl

 

and the silence of stillness with Sandy

 

Loosening my grip

It seems I have not yet learned the lesson of letting go.  My heart and hands grasp long and hard, wanting what they want.

Emily Dickinson said it: 

The Heart wants what it wants - or else it does not care

and Stephen King said it:

The mind can calculate, but the spirit yearns, and the heart wants what the heart wants.

As I try to hold on to the heat of sun splashed days the cold seeps into my bones.  I wrap tentacles of longing around what even now slips away. And yet...

When I turn my eyes and ears to the One Who calls to me, I know I will hear what my heart truly needs.

Yes, you feel the change of seasons
as summer soon is turning
nothing is constant here
but I Am

All the glory you see
colours in the sun
shifting in the wind
only because I Am
indeed the King of glory

and I have not
and I do not
and I will not change
the same always
yesterday, today, forever

while all else shakes
find what is solid
I Am

For Jesus doesn’t change—yesterday, today, tomorrow, he’s always totally himself.  Hebrews 13:8 The Message


The Lord is my solid rock, my fortress, my rescuer.My God is my rock—I take refuge in him!— he’s my shield, my salvation’s strength, my place of safety.  Psalm 18:2 Common English Bible

Walking with the imperfect loved ones at Emily's

 

Jamming with Bonnie - sharing our whitespace

  

To be like Faith

Our dog Faith had an encounter with a porcupine.  We did not hear or see what happened, only the results. We can only assume she tried to bite the creature for she had a mouth full of quills embedded in her jaw, lips, her top palette and even one in her tongue.

Rick moved quickly into action while I had a bit of a freak-out.  He ran down to the basement for side cutters and pliers.  He said if you cut the quill tips it releases the trapped air and they are easier to pull out.  To me, the task seemed impossible, but with patience and love Rick kept Faith (and me) as calm as he could, removing quills one at a time.  With each one he yanked out more became visible. I imagined that we would have to take her to the vet to be sedated.  Her mouth was bloody and she squirmed, whined and tried to bite, all the while looking at Rick trusting that he would make things better.

I had to help with the last and most difficult quills, those in the roof of her mouth and her tongue.  Rick grasped her jaw, keeping her mouth open while I used the pliers and pulled. These hurt and she yelped with each extraction.  When the last was finally out, she danced, wiggled and licked us.  As for me, I broke down in tears, thanking God and thanking Rick, relieved that it was over.  Her mouth seems to be a bit tender but she is in all other ways back to her normal happy self.

The next morning, as I opened my journal to hear what the Lord would share, He said:

Just as you could not turn away from your beloved dog when she was troubled and in pain, so too do I attend to your cries, little one.  Even when your struggles are the consequence of your own foolish actions I Am here to help and to heal.

When you get dirty I wash you clean.  I bathe your wounds and lavish you with My love.

Do you have the same blind trust in Me that Faith has in you?

She knows you are for her, not against her and runs to you, not from you.

Now - do likewise.

What then shall we say to [all] this? If God is for us, who [can be] against us? [Who can be our foe, if God is on our side?] Romans 8:31 Amplified



Happy to be back joining Emily and the broken redeemed

 

Birthday word

This is the gift my Father spoke into my heart this morning:

I know things you will never know

things you will never understand

I, yes I alone have brought you to this day

Happy birthday, child.

Choose life.  Choose joy.

Choose to trust that My plans are indeed good plans.

Your grateful heart is a gift to Me.

I know what I'm doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I'll listen. When you come looking for me, you'll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed. Jeremiah 29:11-13 The Message

This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.  Psalm 118:24 NKJV

Hearing or listening?

Are your spiritual ears as active as your natural senses?

I'm sharing over at Internet Cafe Devotions today

about listening and hearing...

 

While you may...

Today I feel fragmented and scattered

my heart is listening:

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may

from To the Virgins, to Make Much of Time by Robert Herrick

and my spirit hears:

Seek, inquire for, and require the Lord

while He may be found

[claiming Him by necessity and by right];

call upon Him while He is near.

Isaiah 55:5 Amplified

and time stands still and runs away all at once

and I think that trust is often more like this fragile flower

than something hardened

and I will seek

and I will inquire for

and surely I require Him

for every choice, for every breath

and faith is the knowing

that He Is here

 

Uncertainty

This morning, the Lord reminded me of the words He spoke to me yesterday, before I knew of the storms that would be crossing our path later in the day:

Learn to live in the uncertainty. 

Trust Me and Me only.

So today, I set my concerns about vehicle breakdowns and other financial obstacles into His hands and lean into the stillness that only He can provide.

 

Joining Sandy and the others seeking stillness today...

 

I simply follow

Winding hills and flat stretches
without a curve or bump to help mark the time
this path He sets before me
rarely can I see past the next step
this too is by His design
for would I go if I knew what waits for me?
would Paul have risen from that Damascus road
had he understood the trials that would come
walking in obedience to the one he came to know as Lord?

Each day is filled with the expectation of surprise
and yes, sometimes my heart grows weary, worried
when I forget to trust the path’s Creator.

My hand is always within your reach - He whispers
you do not ever need walk alone
and even when you do not feel it
I Am leading you

How then could I ever dream of choosing another road?

Joining Lisa-Jo writing in 5 minutes about path