Kona finds a home

today is the last day these walls

will be merely a house

tomorrow our long awaited addition

will transform our living space

into a true home

as our now eight week old puppy

completes our family

we have food, treats, toys

blankets, collar and leash

a crate for her to snuggle in to

and spaces in our hearts

that she will soon fill to overflowing

meet Kona

and stay tuned for updates

as she grows into herself

open heart

my trip to the mountains

resounded with gasps

"wows" and tears

beauty opening my heart 

to unexpected wonder

having seen

I cannot un-see

having felt

I cannot un-feel

what God has done

what God can do

around, in

and even through me

not my road

farewells extended

still feel fragile and fleeting

how can a heart shattered

continue to break

eight nights remain

wrapped in African 

velvet darkness, wishing 

for a different end

to this story, knowing

it is not mine to write

He reminded me this morning

journal open, pen in hand

I have never set an easy road before you

will you ask for one now?

Or will you surrender to My plans?

When you pray 

"whatever - for the glory of Your Kingdom"

do you mean it?

When you say "anything"

is it your "anything" or Mine?

Your own ears will hear him.

    Right behind you a voice will say,

“This is the way you should go,”

    whether to the right or to the left.

Isaiah 30:21 NLT

psalm 40

psalm 40

Thou shall have no Gods before Me

I read, I heard, I know

so I bow to only one God

(with a capital G) and yet…

how many little gods

have I worshipped

giving away time, focus, and my heart

chasing money, comfort, health

power, position and praise

forgive me again, forgive

this foolish child’s wandering

straining against the very chains

that set me free

draw me closer, Lord I come

taking wing

when we learned that this house 

I had quickly grown to love 

could be ours 

we changed 

from renters to owners 

we settled in deep

and I perhaps may have said

only wild horses could drag me

away from here

now the horses are running

on the prairies I call home

wild in their beauty, and though

they are not dragging me

the flights are booked

and we will soon

be taking wing

much of my heart already 

dwells across the seas

the remainder, I leave here

both broken

and whole

and wholly His

 

splintered

I am not now, can never be

perfect, yet over 

and again I am reminded

comforted by His Words

it is not wholeness

He desires, no

it is the splintering

shards, the cracking

broken heart of me

Going through the motions doesn't please you,

    a flawless performance is nothing to you.

I learned God-worship

    when my pride was shattered.

Heart-shattered lives ready for love

    don't for a moment escape God’s notice.

Psalm 51:16-17 The Message

finding whitespace with Bonnie

continuing to prepare

We are halfway into 2014

the year for which I was given 

the OneWord

prepare

I wrote about it here

as the year began

saying:

There is work to be done, but not in our own power.  

Only in Him can we accomplish anything.  

I am still learning to relax into the work He has already done

the work He is doing and

and the work yet for us to do

the first half of the year

the preparation was heart

and spirit deep

while we were learning to wait

now the pace has quickened

near frantic it seems

until I stop to breathe in Him

remembering to release

the small and the big details

as we pack things for storage

visit the medical clinic

presenting first one

then the other

arm for injections

vaccines to prepare our bodies

I make lists

of things yet to be done

and ponder the pain pricks

of farewells soon to come

the heart deep work will begin anew

on foreign soil

as this year ends and another begins

His Kingdom come

His will be done

in Canada

in Africa

in us all

 
Linking up and checking in at The Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

God's poet

God's poet is silence!  His song is unspoken

And yet so profound, and so loud, and so far,

That it thrills you and fills you in measures unbroken—

The unceasing song of the first morning star....

~Joaquin Miller

everywhere I go

noise invades, betrays

the truth of silence

keeping me from

the song 

He longs to impart

deep into my spirit

planted in my heart

seeking the stillness with Sandy

 

heart journey

This week Bonnie asked:

How has God been touching your heart this month? Share what you see.

I have been dwelling close to the fire

letting His life spark, flame and melt away the chains

the heart of flesh He created is learning

to beat in tune with His

and ache for those things that move Him

injustice, homelessness, lack

blogger friends have been telling the tales

writing from Africa

the continent that claimed me

as soon as the red soil settled on my skin

it was then that this journey began

the prayers, the waiting

and now the call to prepare, to leave 

the Canadian prairies I now call home

to return to Africa with His heart

and the feet He gave me

to share His story, His love, His truth

and as I go, continue to learn what it means

to abide, beneath the shelter of His wings

jamming with Bonnie
 

garden of solitude

Solitude is the garden for our hearts, which yearn for love. It is the place where our aloneness can bear fruit. It is the home for our restless bodies and anxious minds. Solitude, whether it is connected with a physical space or not, is essential for our spiritual lives. It is not an easy place to be, since we are so insecure and fearful that we are easily distracted by whatever promises immediate satisfaction. Solitude is not immediately satisfying, because in solitude we meet our demons, our addictions, our feelings of lust and anger, and our immense need for recognition and approval. But if we do not run away, we will meet there also the One who says, "Do not be afraid. I am with you, and I will guide you through the valley of darkness."

Henri Nouwen

I come to the garden alone 

While the dew is still on the roses 

And the voice I hear falling on my ear 

The Son of God discloses. 

And He walks with me, and He talks with me, 

And He tells me I am His own; 

And the joy we share as we tarry there, 

None other has ever known. 

He speaks, and the sound of His voice, 

Is so sweet the birds hush their singing, 

And the melody that He gave to me 

Within my heart is ringing. 

C. Austin Miles

 

still and quiet with Sandy

 

more need of breaking

my heart is brittle

silent as the frozen fields

surrounding our haven of warmth

and shelter

broken yet struggling

to find words

for more need of breaking

one year ends

another begins

we cycle in His hands

 

hands captured open

For three nights in November I lingered by the banks of the Frio River
side by side with bloggers I had only known in a virtual way
comrades in Christ
washed in the spirit that inhabits Laity Lodge
holy, generous, accepting
a space for hearts to open
rent by truth, we leaked
upon the stone floor, the comfy sofas
each other, passions
secrets, life poured forth
even more than we were aware

I often felt the fringes
the all too familiar voices
muttering
you don't fit here
they know each other, but not you
no not you

but I was seen
I was known
I was heard
in ways I never expected
in Him
through Him
captured in pixels and shared
via social media
after my return home

I loved this image of Karin Fendick's hands. A common sight - coffee in one hand, talking with the other. Evidently I was fascinated by her hands. So open to what is being poured into them...a testimony in and of themselves. Perhaps someone could use them as another inspiration for "empty vessels"

thank you Lord for giving Your eyes to another
thank you Tina for the pictures and the words
they were a flood of healing to my fractures

walking with Emily in broken imperfection yet perfectly loved

 

renewal

time crushes, demands 

more than it gives

harsh wind pulling

away from my source

too much not enough

left me hard, brittle

disconnected

the call was thin, almost 

too quiet to hear

come away

leaving snow

and static behind

to breathe, washed 

by steady rain

heart pores open

made supple once more

finding my place elbow to elbow with the other poets today

 

living water

the bathroom renovation is nearing completion

things at first only imagined are becoming real

fixtures are in place

lines are connected

and water flows

there is a finish line

we will cross it

and the work will be over

the renovation of my heart

mind and spirit

continues and continues

no perfection until I stand

in His presence

drenched in living water

flow fast

flow free

drench me

Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, 

that you may prove what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

Romans 12:2 RSV

walking with the imperfect but redeemed at Emily's

 

Compassion in Nicaragua

Tomorrow a team of bloggers is flying down to Nicaragua to experience Compassion International’s ministry.  They will be sharing what they see and feel and how God touches their hearts in ways only He can.

I will be following their journey and so can you at the links below:

Shaun Groves - Team Leader at ShaunGroves.com
Brianne McKoy - Team Leader at Compassion Blog
Christy Jordan - blogger at Southern Plate
Edie - blogger at Life in Grace
Kelly - blogger at Faithful Provisions
Traci - blogger at Beneath My Heart
Mike Varel - Photographer/Videographer at Mike Varel Digital Storytelling
Keely Scott - Photographer at KeelyMarieScott.com

Today Edie posted the following pre-departure words on her blog Twas the night before...:

Am I ready? 

No.  I’m so not ready. 

But, I stand in good company with those who were unsure, doubtful, fearful, and  ill-equipped, and went anyway. 

This time tomorrow, I’ll be on the other side of a giant wall;  a wall made of oceans and money and governments and  wars.  I’ll be on the other side of what separates our world from theirs.

My prayer is that Christ will give us ears to hear and eyes to see;  that He will make us know that what unites us is so much more powerful than what divides us.

As I read Edie's words, the following prayer stirred within me --

None of us are ready Lord, not one.
It is not our abilities that you can use but our availability.
I pray for a heart that yields and a spirit that bends to Yours.
May the words and images that these sojourners share
break my heart while they inspire with hope.

 

windy free

loose edges

curled

free in the breeze

delicate and wild

here I see

my heart

shredded beauty

perfect in imperfection

walking with Emily and those who are broken yet redeemed

 

Enter into ice

As always, Spring has returned to the Canadian prairies. Brown and grey are quickly being replaced with all the shades of green that only the Master Creator can imagine.  The breeze stirs hearts towards warm.  Thoughts turn to planting, bright days and long evenings.

Yet all is not well.  The heat combined with strong winds have caused havoc at the lake, freeing ice to crash into the shore with unforgiving force.  Cottages and houses were buried or splintered like toothpicks.  All this the announcement of the new season.

At another beach it was easy to imagine we were in the Arctic, as we snapped picture after picture, the cold from the ice clashing against the warmth of the sun.

The natural appears unnatural

there seems to be a way to enter

crawl deep into the ice

as if there might be refuge there

a peace in confronting the heart of the cold

and then, the melting

walking with Emily and the broken redeemed