Sweet lack of understanding

What sweet lack
of understanding is this
that leaves me
thirsting, hungry
seeking more
of ways higher
deeper, wider
than ever human reason
could fathom.

Still You choose
to speak, truth
light reflecting revelation
chasing shadows
silencing storms.

A soft residue of peace
like volcanic ash
covers me
deposits deep
a mystery
my logic cannot reach
but my spirit connects.

Let me then rejoice
if, in leaving reason
far behind
I find not more of myself
but Him.


The unspiritual self, just as it is by nature, can't receive the gifts of God's Spirit. There's no capacity for them. They seem like so much silliness. Spirit can be known only by spirit—God's Spirit and our spirits in open communion. Spiritually alive, we have access to everything God's Spirit is doing, and can't be judged by unspiritual critics. Isaiah's question, "Is there anyone around who knows God's Spirit, anyone who knows what he is doing?" has been answered: Christ knows, and we have Christ's Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:14-16 The Message

Stop by Jason's place for more poetry written by God's warriors!
This time we're writing about the mystery of God.

Rejoice

But let all those who take refuge and put their trust in You rejoice; let them ever sing and shout for joy, because You make a covering over them

and defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You and be in high spirits. 

Psalm 5:11 Amplified

Unexpected flight in 55 words

Love Force #5

painted by Jonas Gerard

A leap of faith
unexpected flight
on the revelation
of fresh born wings
created to dance
in worship, unhindered
chains left behind.

Light explodes into light.

The pure joy
of love, uncontainable
beyond all limits, free
a power that darkness
will not, can not
taint or control.

This and more
have I found
in You.

Linking up today with Brian Miller at One Stop Poetry and at G-man's Friday Flash 55

Freeze thaw

I alternate through moments:

Frozen, then fluid, the heat of passion melting my defenses.

The sound of the inner critic screaming, harmonizing with the enemy of my soul is all at once firmly silenced by the voice of the One Who knows me best, Who created me for His own.

Words tumble forth unhindered and I rejoice in their freedom until a thought, an inner glance creates a log jam and things pile up and up and up until nothing moves at all.

This is where I am now, the freeze before the thaw.

Every bit of me trembling.

There is fruit to bear, ripe enough, let juices trickle down.

I pray to find my voice, ice covered chords to call out to the One Who Is my hope, notes crystalized, pure in their confession of need. 

In Him, I am all things, without Him, nothing.

Freeze. 
Thaw. 
Freeze. 

He has a reason for it all.

And now, Lord, what do I wait for and expect? My hope and expectation are in You. Psalm 39:7 Amplified

sharing with Emily and the rest as we acknowledge our broken imperfections

and jamming with Bonnie The Faith Barista

Allowing the light

The prompt this week at 3 From Here & There was based on a quote from Leonard Cohen:

"The cracks are how the light shines in, and it is only by remaining aware of imperfection that we remain open to redemption and reform."

Stop by to see what others have shared.

The road may curve

Often we feel called to pray about something and in the process we assume we know how God will bring about what He has asked to pray for. 

I know He has asked me to pray for peace, in my own life and in the life of our church.  This morning, as I was journaling, however, He shared the following word, reminding me that I should not presume to know how that peace will appear, or what the path will look like.

Sometimes the only way to peace is through.
Not by standing but by moving.
I, even I, overturned tables to restore Godly order.
Yes I call you to pray for peace, but don’t assume to know how you will arrive there.
As long as My people continue to walk around the mountains that rise up, they will circle forever.
I am calling you to climb over them, and often, yes to simply plow through.
You need to move through to be through, finished, done with the struggle.
So pray then, for courage, surrender and total dependence on what I can do.

Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength. “Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,” he said. “Peace! Be strong now; be strong.”  When he spoke to me, I was strengthened and said, “Speak, my lord, since you have given me strength.”  Daniel 10:18-19 NIV

The space between

I am caught in the space
between the frozen zone
and the warmth in here
the peace of what I know
and the thin, brittle ice

In this season of grays
life pauses to catch its breath
yet in hibernation
a new thing
snuggles in
takes hold
nourished, protected.
A seed planted, unseen
beneath the drifts of snow

Peace, be still
says He
as every fibre aches
to stretch, expand
break out
the small place
secure, but also stifling
wings batter restraining walls.

Winter can appear
indeed endless
here
in the land called
True North
months more ahead.

I am caught in the space
between the frozen zone
and the warmth in here
the peace of what I know
and the thin, brittle ice.

Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.  Mark 4:39 NKJV

Linking today to the carnival at Peter Pollock's where we're talking about winter
 
 
 
 

and One Stop Poetry where we're sharing our One Shots

Random on a Saturday

Image via Wikipedia

I have words, random words, dancing about my thoughts --

spin
to cause to turn around rapidly, as on an axis; twirl; whirl: to spin a coin on a table.

turn
to change or convert (usually fol. by into or to ): to turn water into ice; to turn tears into laughter.
to bring the lower layers of (sod, soil, etc.) to the surface, as in plowing.

centre
to be at or come to a center, to come to a focus; converge; concentrate
 
wait
to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens
Archaic. (of things) to be in readiness for; be reserved for; await: Glory waits thee.

rest
the refreshing quiet or repose of sleep: a good night's rest.
refreshing ease or inactivity after exertion or labor: to allow an hour for rest.
relief or freedom, esp. from anything that wearies, troubles, or disturbs.
a period or interval of inactivity, repose, solitude, or tranquillity: to go away for a rest.
mental or spiritual calm; tranquillity.

I'm not quite sure what to do with these, so:

I shall wait on the Lord Who turns all things for good
till my thoughts spin at the centre of His will
for there I will find my rest.

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.  Romans 8:26-28 The Message


Definintions found at dictionary.com

Holding tight

On Tuesday morning the Lord told me as I shared here:

You are carrying what I have conceived and it is time to bring it forth.

Since He spoke that into my spirit, I have been walking on the high cliffs of tears but unable to let go.  I feel tense, constrained, not fearful, just edgy.

I know with my head that I shouldn't be afraid to jump, for He Is the net that will catch and protect me.  My wings are fluttering yet held to close to my breast.  Half of me yearns to fly, swooping and diving, but the rest of me is holding tight, my feet planted on what only appears to be solid ground.

My Lord is gentle, almost overly kind with me as He continues to lead me to the precipice:

I Am teaching you trust and with your nature so prone to self-reliance and independance I am creating a need to depend on Me and Me alone.

You want things figured out before you move forward, yet I tell you again that first blind step is essential.  That is the faith step and it leads you right into the centre of My heart and the middle of My will.

Give up.  Let go.  That is the surrender I seek, for how can My Spirit move that which is firmly grounded.

And then yesterday He added:

Your life is for My glory, not your own. My power is seen when bridges are crossed, obstacles are conquered, on the mountains and in the valleys.

Will you dare to scale the North Face of challenges before you?

I Am mighty enough to take you where I want you to go.

Help me then, Lord my God, to breathe in deeply the courage You provide; to stretch and expand wings that You have designed for this very moment in time; to forsake the holding tight for a free fall of release.

Running from and falling into - Joy

I spent the first eighty percent of my life wild, blind in the world
driven by passions, confused, misdirected, all self,
all need ever growing, demanding satisfaction
without knowing what would fill that void.
What would bring happiness and what would happiness bring?

As year piled onto year
the highs grew unattractive, always followed by shattering lows.
My heart responded to the beckoning lie of the flatline - "It is safer here."
While I might have hoped for the best I lived in expectation of much less.

When I met the One Who had been waiting, I learned much.
How joy prevails, even in the absence of happiness.
What the mind conceives, however, has a long ongoing journey to reach the heart
and the disapointed parts of me practiced the running from joy
weary of the sadness that might follow.

Yet He holds me still. 
He asks me to surrender, my fear, my brokeness, my bitter forecasts.
As I run from who I thought I was I fall into Who He Is.
What greater love!
What greater joy!

I'm jamming with Bonnie today at Faith Barista

and also joining my broken pieces with others at Emily's In the Hush of the Moon

Yolks and yokes

Image by Getty Images via @daylife

These cold days
in their harshness
bang one
against the other
bruising, cracking
emotions brittle
as egg shells.

Truth flows out
runny
strong and fresh
yolks released
yokes removed
more tiny steps
toward freedom.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

Stop by One Stop Poetry to read more One Shots!

Time to bring forth

Image by Monica and Joe via Flickr
My time of journaling this morning leaves me trembling in holy fear and expectation (one of my words for 2011).

The ways of My Spirit cannot be understood with human reason.  Hold what I show you until the Spirit reveals its truth, even if no one else can see.

You dreamed yet again of being in late stages of pregnancy, at the hospital ,ready for delivery.  You were trying to explain to the nurse why you were so old.

And truly I tell you, the moment is here and your dream has twofold meaning.

It is indeed time for you to be delivered from any and all fear of man and the ways of man.  You are ready for delivery, there is no need to explain why or how or apologize - it is My timing. always My timing.

The second meaning is the birthing - for indeed you are carrying what I have conceived and it is time to bring it forth.

Yes, this is the novel We are writing - yet perhaps there are non-identical twins, for there is also something to be born in the Spirit, something you do not yet know but will recognize when you see it, when it takes its first breaths and begins to grow on its own.  You are a carrier of this new thing for you have been willing to be used, just as Mary was.

Do not be afraid, little one, as the birth pains continue - all is well and I will always be with you.

And I replied:

Yes, Lord, I am Your servant, may it be unto me as You have said.  Have Your way Lord.

Will you stand with me in prayer as I submit and obey and allow His work to be accomplished?
 

He multiplies

So much hunger
heartache
requests for prayer
flood and fill
all empty space
a beast, ravenous
crying, demanding
to be satisfied.

Small as I am
I face drowning
awash
in all that pain.

So I do the one thing
I can
I lift my hands
my prayers
tiny fish, broken loaves
an offering of thanks
to the One
Who can answer
in multiplied blessings.

This week our theme was Jesus feeding the 5,000 Matthew 14:13-21

Join us at Jason's Connecting to Impact for more.

And the winner is ----

There were many page views but only 5 comments entered for my giveaway of a new copy of the compelling novel Priceless written by Tom Davis.

The answers to the questions I asked can be found at She is Priceless - please click over and look around, allowing the Lord to speak to your heart about the issue of human trafficking.

1. How many children are trafficked every year?  1.2 Million
2. Every ______ minutes a child is being prepared for sexual exploitation?  2
3. How many times each day is the average victim forced to have sex? 40
4. What is the average age of a trafficked victim? 14 

I entered the range of 1-5 into the integer generator at random.org and am pleased to report that the winner is:

#2 the comment left by Kari Anderson. 

Congratulations Kari, I'll get the book to you right away.

Still slower than slow...

Here is a post I wrote in January of 2010.  I feel the need to repost it as my internet speed has not improved and I still feel quite badly about not being able to connect with you all in the ways I would desire.  I do subscribe to your blogs and read them in my Google Reader - but more often than not I am unable to comment because your pages just. don't.  load.  Please read my words below and accept them as my apology...

I love the life the Lord gave to me here in the middle of nowhere. I love our land. I love my home. I even love the fact that it can be winter for more than eight months of the year.

I do not miss the rush of urban life, the crowds, the noise, the dirt. I lived in that for 43 years and gratefully left it behind. Now my life moves in time with the seasons of sowing and reaping, seed time and harvest, a rhythm that is real and natural. Connections have been planted here.

In. Real. Life.

But there is another place that I live as well. A place with no walls, no borders, no limits. Using technology we can reach out to the world and forge connections that would otherwise be impossible.

So begins my rant. There is a very annoying aspect to this country beauty that surrounds me. Slow, SLOW, painfully SLOW dial-up internet. Our connection gets no faster than 28k, yes that's "k" friends. Some people wonder how I manage to blog at all. It must be the spirit of perseverence that God gifted me with, like the persistant widow.

Jesus told them a story showing that it was necessary for them to pray consistently and never quit. He said, "There was once a judge in some city who never gave God a thought and cared nothing for people. A widow in that city kept after him: 'My rights are being violated. Protect me!' "He never gave her the time of day. But after this went on and on he said to himself, 'I care nothing what God thinks, even less what people think. But because this widow won't quit badgering me, I'd better do something and see that she gets justice—otherwise I'm going to end up beaten black-and-blue by her pounding.'" Luke 18:1-5 The Message

I seem to waste ridiculous amounts of time waiting for my computer to respond to simple requests. I get frustrated. I get impatient. I get angry at our lack of options. It's not that we refuse to pay for high-speed, or wireless, or satellite or cable, there is none available.

"I love my life here in the country" I tell myself again and again. And I do.

But....

When I try to reach out and connect with many of you I find that your pages won't load. I can't view your videos, never mind enter into the new realm of vlogging. The connection is just too slow.

Most painful of all is my inability to leave as many comments as I'd like. As a blogger, I know how those words of encouragement and understanding, those "amens" spur us on. I don't enjoy being a lurker when I truly do have things to share with you.

So I ask for your forgiveness. I'm with you. I'm reading and loving your words and hearts. I'm sending you my prayers. I'm leaving my responses where and when I can.

Will you join me in prayers that internet options here will soon change? And please be patient with me until that time comes.

Snowblind

Image via Wikipedia 

 

Environment Canada predicted
only 5 centimeters of snow
a mere 2 inches
more or less
but who ever trusts
a forecast?

The falling was scattered
light, continuous
sun muffled
clouded skies
an appropriate backdrop
for the funeral
I set out to attend.

(I can't, in fact, recall any funeral days that have been bright.  As if God Himself weeps in loss)

I myself am not grieving
but intended my presence to be
a sign of support for a friend
a family
who will miss their mother
no matter how expected
was her passing.

I wished to be obedient to the Word
that speaks of compassion

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn Romans 12:15 NIV

I set out
down our country lane
where even such scant accumulation
created havoc with my vision
and unable to discern
what was road or field
my progress was tentative.

Empathy drove me forward
nervously to the highway
where wisdom
prevailed and turned me back
toward home.

Snowblind, I prayed
that the God of all comfort
would grant peace
to those who gathered
and arriving safely
in our yard
took a long, deep swallow
of that comfort for myself.

Confidence in Who?

I pray that any trust, faith and confidence I have in my flesh would melt like snow in the rains of Spring.  For far too long I have looked to myself for courage, for comfort and for direction.

"No more" I cry.  "No more!"

Let my hope be in nothing less than Christ Himself and His redeeming blood.

How often we talk about people having low self-esteem, yet I do not wish to esteem my self, but instead exalt Who my Lord Is in me.  So I seek to walk in Him at all times.

He has ordered me to walk boldly.

Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9 Amplified

When I see giants and begin to tremble, leaning in to fear, let me remember not who I am but Who He Is.

Yes, He Is the Lamb, meek, Who spoke not a word as He was led to slaughter.  Yet He is also the Lion of Judah, mighty in battle, forever victorious.

Are you facing mountains that send shivers racing down your spine?  Forget about how small you are and take some time to meditate on just how big Is our God.  Let the truth of Who He Is renew courage in your feet, boldness in your spirit and joy in your heart.

Come on over to Bonnie's and join us as we Jam on confidence and boldness.

Black, white and shades of gray

Black and white and various shades of gray.  The colour of winter on days when the sun stays hidden within the clouds.

These are days when the sky fades into snow on the fields and its hard to find the line between the two. 

We often have to dig deep to find beauty. 

But here I find peace.  The work of His hands in a season of dormancy. 

He asks me to be still, without the distraction of things bright, colourful.

He asks me to listen.

Waiting is for me perhaps the hardest trial, yet at His calling, I attempt obedience.

God, the one and only— I'll wait as long as he says. Everything I hope for comes from him, so why not? Psalm 62:5 The Message

Stop by to read more imperfect words
at Emily's In the Hush of the Moon