26 October 2014

prodigal daughter

This is supposed to be quiet time, yet even with music pouring in through earphones there is the distraction of other noise.  It is a picture of the distraction I have felt in our relationship Lord, during a time when I should be closer to you than ever.  Help me to carve out time, to hold it sacred and not allow anything to take me from Your presence.

I am so sorry for losing my way.  I am left feeling like there is no solid ground – for it seems I have chosen not to stand on You and in You.  I have forfeited all the promises that come to those who dwell in your secret place. The vine has not moved but my branch has wandered.

I have been grumbling and complaining, focusing on what is negative instead of looking for Your hand.  I have been looking to the future and missing the moment at hand.

Commit your way to the Lord;
    trust in him and he will do this:
 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
    your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord
    and wait patiently for him
Psalm 37:5-7a NIV

The Lord makes firm the steps
    of the one who delights in him;
 though he may stumble, he will not fall,
    for the Lord upholds him with his hand.
Psalm 37:23-24 NIV

I know You are holding me Lord, it leaves me humbled and astounded.  Why would you have such patience with a wandering heart like mine? I am in Your hands, moment by moment brought back to the need to surrender, but there is still such struggle left in my flesh, trying to hold on to what I perceive as my rights, even as I know I have no rights.  It is all You and how can I rise up against You?  Forgive me, again and again and again Lord.

I am crawling back, Your prodigal daughter, longing for reconnection to the Vine, to drink deep, to be filled afresh with all that You Are as I pull the plug to drain away all that I am.  May I let go, allow my life to be poured out like a drink offering on no other altar but Yours.

You treat yourself harshly, little one.
Do not allow the voice of condemnation to crush you, 
for My love is sure, 
My voice soft as I sing over you to draw you home.  
I know you hear Me so I need not shout.
You are closer than you imagine 
and I hear your heart for it stills beats with Mine.  
Your peace is here.  
Your joy is here. 
 I Am here. 
 And here you are again.


20 October 2014

opportunity knocked

no classes today
I was feeling useless
wasting time with nothing to do
though many were relishing free time

opportunity knocked
certainly not by circumstance
but design as we joined several others
riding via public transport
to the large city hospital

the wards were large
nothing close to privacy exists
I was almost embarrassed
to think of the richness
of our facilities at home

I gazed into eyes shining with pain
or fear, hollow above sunken cheeks
limbs stick like, lacking substance

we ministered side by side 
with the chaplains
encouraging new believers
praying for the sick

I helped one young man
who was sitting at his mother’s bedside
pray a prayer of surrender
to the Lord, releasing his old life
for new, reborn
angels were rejoicing today

we stopped for an ice cream cone
after the return trip home
the taste refreshing
but not nearly as sweet
as heaven’s salvation song

happy to be backed at Kelli's where the rhythms are all His


18 October 2014

hopping free

there was
a sparrow hopping free
without doubt
or fear
taking in the morning light
and how much more
will He care 
for me?
in my weakness
who have I but my Lord?
as I lean broken
and weary
into arms willing
to carry me in love
I need not be able
no, I must be
nothing, that He
might be all
if there be any glory
in this dying
may it all be unto Him
here am I, Lord
use me as You will
the shattered pieces are Yours
as I am willing
to be willing
to be rebuilt
by Your hands

Sandra Heska King - Still Saturday
back resting with Snady


14 October 2014

mambo sawa

These are the last weeks of discipleship training in Zambia.
Flight is being booked to Malawi for the first week of November.
Our hearts are longing to be where we feel God can best use us

We sing a song here - Mambo Sawa
"when the Lord is on the throne, things are getting better"
that is my prayer for you, for me, for all of us


08 October 2014

a quick hello

A quick hello while ailing laptop is briefly functioning
Less than four weeks of classes left here in Zambia
then we are finally off to Malawi

We appreciate your prayers and encouragement
we are far from home but in His hands

21 September 2014

beauty here

there is beauty bursting forth
contrast of colour
against red dirt
weaver birds blazing 
yellow feathers and blue bills
jacaranda trees stretch 
lavender blooms against the sky
and the frangipani opening fresh
dripping sweetness
there is beauty bursting forth
here, and something new
being birthed
in our hearts


13 September 2014

empty eggshell

Here at the Zambia base, one Saturday each month is devoted to prayer and fasting.

Today is the day.

We gathered corporately at 9 to worship before splitting into smaller groups to declare and pray The Word.  We began with Luke.

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.  He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared what people thought. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

“For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care what people think, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually come and attack me!’”

 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?  I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”  Luke 18:8-1-8 NIV

We were then given thirty minutes of personal time with the Lord, to pray about the condition of our prayer lives, repent of any prayerlessness or discouragement and ask that He would give us new strength, vigor and perseverance.

I took my chair out into the morning sun, and as I quieted myself before Him I saw my prayer life as an often empty shell.  Like an egg, when there is nothing inside to stand against external pressure the shell will shatter into tiny shards.  Yet when the shell is filled and solid, pressure from outside may crack but not destroy it.

I asked that the Lord would remind me to continually fill myself with His Spirit which He freely pours out to all who would receive   It is indeed my part to drink, my choice, my pleasure.

May I stay ever firm, solid, filled with His truth, His love and His light.

Sandra Heska King - Still Saturday
being still with Sandy

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