I spent the first eighty percent of my life wild, blind in the world
driven by passions, confused, misdirected, all self,
all need ever growing, demanding satisfaction
without knowing what would fill that void.
What would bring happiness and what would happiness bring?
As year piled onto year
the highs grew unattractive, always followed by shattering lows.
My heart responded to the beckoning lie of the flatline - "It is safer here."
While I might have hoped for the best I lived in expectation of much less.
When I met the One Who had been waiting, I learned much.
How joy prevails, even in the absence of happiness.
What the mind conceives, however, has a long ongoing journey to reach the heart
and the disapointed parts of me practiced the running from joy
weary of the sadness that might follow.
Yet He holds me still.
He asks me to surrender, my fear, my brokeness, my bitter forecasts.
As I run from who I thought I was I fall into Who He Is.
What greater love!
What greater joy!
I'm jamming with Bonnie today at Faith Barista
and also joining my broken pieces with others at Emily's In the Hush of the Moon