the melody

my muscles, joints

do not agree with the cold

every fibre aching

as I cried out

this is how the Lord responded

when the pain sings

listen to the melody

and find Me there

in the low notes

the long wails

staccato beat

you will hear My voice

draw your strength

from My presence

do not allow the pain

to speak words of exclusion

or disqualification

you are always welcome

in the secret place

come away

abide in Me

awake with me

sleepy morning

after a night of discomfort

coffee steaming in my hand

I listened for words from the Lord

I Am with you in your pain, never are you alone

the aching in the dark, when the world sleeps?

I Am awake with you.

My promise is true to never leave or forsake you

even when you don't understand, or believe

and cry out "where are you?"

Here, always, knowing what I know.

Be still, little one, give Me the pain.

It's what I can bear when you cannot.

not even the cyclone

I have questions, wondering 

about what the next months, years will hold

and the One Who has the answers

gently speaks

Be still

yes, even in the storm

even in the rushing wind

abide in Me

and the cyclone cannot remove you

from My hand

only you, little one

can choose to walk out of My hand

and into the maelstrom

Remain in the place of safety

even if the world is banging on the door

your refuge is wherever I Am

and I Am everywhere

and always.

Come. Stay. 

fixed

my mind has wavered, troubled

and this welcome rebuke from my Lord

has settled me

when your eyes are fixed on Me

when your eyes are fixed on Me

peace falls

but where are you looking?

you fix your eyes on what is behind you

you fix your eyes on what waits ahead of you

and your thoughts swirl and sway

and anxiety has its way with you

you can choose, little one

perfect peace

fix your eyes on perfect love

fix your eyes on perfect glory

You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace 

whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, 

because he commits himself to You, 

leans on You, and hopes confidently in You

Isaiah 26:3 Amplified

washed away

early morning, coffee, His Word and His words

all I need

Yes, you hear "washed away"

for surely I have washed away your sins

but  there is so much more

I can wash away your pain

I can wash away your worry

I can wash away memories

that twist and turn and torment

It is already done, child

let it go

receive My cleansing shower

stand in My healing rain

do not yet I do

a morning rebuke from my Lord:

how many times have I told you "fear not"?

how often need I remind you "do not worry"?

yet you worry still

you ponder and calculate and fret

and all of this you do without Me

for when you come

the relaxation is almost immediate

"Do not worry about tomorrow"

but you worry

about tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

what if? if then? and then?

trails of possibilities that may never come to be

do you know the future?

I do!

I Am solid and sure and worthy of your trust

let go of all the rest

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. 

Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. 

Matthew 6:34 Amplified

a place prepared

mornings start best with silence

words this morning as I sought His counsel

Allow your affliction to drive you

not to despair but to My side

There is a place prepared for you alone

to find comfort, refreshing and peace

to re-energize and so return to the battle stronger

Come for courage to this place

the place of abiding

the place you need never leave

broken pieces

struggling with increasing pain

feeling the weight of incompleteness

and mourning my lack of ability to do 

much of what I feel called to do

I poured out my heart

to the One Who already knows

opening my journal and picking up my pen, He replied

I need your broken pieces, don't apologize for them. 

I could have kept you whole but I Am rebuilding. 

Do not despise the days of waiting 

for My work to be completed

morning words

some early morning words from my Father

as I sat in silence this morning

it was never about you anyway

so what you can

or cannot do

matters not at all

it is only in the willingness

the sacrifice

the giving over

that I rule and reign

and have My way

worry not, little one

just remain close

heart open

I know you are broken

but also wholly Mine

that is what I use

out of the cave

Morning quiet time with My Lord 
as I ponder stepping into something new and bold...

Ask of Me and I will show you 

things which you have not yet seen.

It is again and always about My plans

not the schemes of man

If I send you will I not equip you?

If the battle is not yours, 

the work is not yours either, but Mine

and I intend My work to prosper

Your part, as always, little one, is surrender

Surrender to My hand, My shaping, My pruning

even to My choice to promote you

Elijah could not remain in the cave

when that season was over

I called him out

So too with you, My child

so too with you

Call to Me and I will answer you 

and show you great and mighty things, 

fenced in and hidden, which you do not know

(do not distinguish and recognize, 

have knowledge of and understand)

Jeremiah 33:3 Amplified

 

turn and return

early morning quiet time…

Behold, how good and pleasant it is 

when brothers dwell in unity!

Psalm 133:1 RSV

yet I see factions

fractures, war

I see bitterness and strife

bickering, words of blame, shame

condemnation

Look – it doesn’t take much illumination

to see not My reflection

but the face of evil

when the world looks at you

who shall they see?

turn then, turn

for I Am ever gracious

turn and return

for I Am the Lord of restoration

and I will cleanse you

and I will heal you

and I will teach you again

and again

and again

the better way

the way of love

this is the door to My heart

where I invite all of My children

to dwell, in one place

with one mind

and one spirit

together, in Me

of Me, for Me

not by might

this morning's quiet time - listening:

So he said to me, 

“This is the word of the Lord to Zerubbabel: 

‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the Lord Almighty. 

Zechariah 4:6 NIV

My power

My faith

My courage working in you

You need not strive

or worry

or ponder plans

but give in, simply, totally

and I will have My way

for it is not what you do

but what I have already done

time slows

and spins

at My command

yet has now no power

in the context of eternity

breathe in the release of that truth

acknowledge your total lack

of control

and in that, find your peace

and so remain

in the vine

 

quiet time

Our first quiet time of the OM Global Orientation Conference and I realized my cheeks were wet - I opened my journal to ask:

Why the tears Lord? Joy? Relief? Awe?

He didn't leave me to ponder long, but quickly answered.

All, little one.
And the tears are sweet to Me.
In the rush and go you have felt alone
our time alone disturbed
but I Was - I Am  - I Will Be
always with you
So now again
let Me be your centre.
I have pulled every string.
This is My orchestra
and the music shall play on.

Thank you for following, for singing along
even when you do not know the words
this is part of your lessons
ongoing lessons in surrender
and I accept your tears, your sacrifice.

As you bow low
it is easier for Me to lift you
why struggle to walk
when I can carry you
Then in My power
you stand, and move
and I breathe in and through you
for the glory of My Own Name.

You will say
what you cannot say
and you will do
more than you can do
because I Am
and I can
and the world will know

So welcome home child
ever in My care
take your comfort, peace and strength here
what ever felt lost shall be found
time has not been wasted

With each new sun
we have only just begun
like a feast set out before you
take each moment
consume
as you allow Me to have all of you
you allow yourself to take in all of Me

Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe,  for our “God is a consuming fire.”
Hebrews 12:28-29 NIV


 

Who restores?

The taskbar at the bottom of my laptop screen

flashed, a reminder that updates were waiting

ever obedient, I clicked to download

and busied myself with other things

after the install, I had to reset the computer

and as often happens, things were not quite right

when the screen came back up

nothing I tried corrected the problems

it was time to resort to system restore

taking the computer back

to a time before the offending updates

while this ran, I opened my journal

sensing my Lord has something to share

your technology

has the capacity

to return to an earlier

moment in time

to take changes

errors, problems

and make them disappear

as if they had never happened

and I, yes I, do this

not for machines

but for lives

I Am the Restorer

I Am making all things new

I wipe slates clean

I have already forgotten

what you still cling to

you can let it all go

step into the reset

fresh and clean

walking with Emily in broken redemption

 

matter of trust

With so much uncertainty ahead of us

it is easy for my mind, heart and spirit 

to grow unsettled

as I sat journal open before the Lord

He gently urged me 

to not allow anxiety to rattle me

Have I not told you

worry not about tomorrow?

Does not today

have enough trouble?

What will come

will come

and I will Be there

and I will not Be surprised

I have already made provisions

for all circumstances

As always

it is a matter of trust

will you leave everything

in My hands?

Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. 

Let the day’s own trouble be sufficient for the day 

Matthew 6:34 RSV

 

anchored

My prayer has long been

Lord help me be willing to be willing

to go when You say go

and I believe that pleases Him

but He reminds me

will you also be willing to stay

when I say stay?

I tune my ears to the Spirit

wanting the voice of my Shepherd

to ring louder

than any other

before sleep the other night

I saw a large metal anchor

I sensed God telling me to set my anchor in Him

if I set it in the ground, I am fixed in place

anchored in Him I can move where He moves

so this morning, pen in hand

I asked Him if He had more to share

Grounded in Me isn't static

but it is stable

the safest place

there is more freedom

more joy, more peace

When I move, you follow

and I remain your base of support

Yes, drop your anchor here

from your heart to Mine

What comfort this brings me

to know that even as I go, I can stay

in Him, and He in me

jamming with Bonnie

 

gift multiplied

I have shared previously about a unique way the Lord has of getting my attention:

Some years ago, I began to hear a quiet, gentle, metallic tinkling sound like wind chimes. This could happen anywhere, and there were no chimes present. After the chimes I would sense a thought from God, a short word of comfort, encouragement or direction. This happened so often that I began to realize that He had gifted me with the sound of chimes as a sign that He wanted to speak to me, so each time I head them I would become silent and still, waiting in faith for Him to speak. He never disappointed me. 

The acoustic neuroma on my left side has left me with profound tinnitus, a ringing, roaring, whooshing noise that combines with hearing loss in that ear.

In the stillness of this morning's first light, I opened my journal and my heart to commune with Him:

The ringing in my ears is constant now and can distract me if I allow it and it occurred to me this morning that it might be blocking the sound of chimes You gave to me to capture my attention - but I sensed You wanting me to know it is a multiplication of the gift

Yes, you listen well

when you tune your inner ears

the ringing is ever present

as I Am ever present

always ready to speak

to one who is ready to hear

What seems a human imperfection

can work to our advantage little one

though it is harder for you

to hear the words of man

it stands as no barrier

to hearing My voice

and who's words do you need?

 

when I ask

when I am silent and still

when I open myself enough to ask

He speaks

He does not leave me starving for His Word

I open my journal, reminded of my place

and His

In the storms and in the calm spaces

I Am

do not forget your need of Me

When you are tossed, rattled, you cry out

knowing where salvation waits

but like the Israelites

when the sailing is smooth and straight

you again begin to trust your own abilities

You are what you are

you are how you are

you are who you are

because I Am

I hold the wind, the sun, the stars

all things in My hand

the planets turn at My design

How much more do I care for you

created in My image, for My company 

and pleasure?

Just as day follows night follows day

My ways are structured and sure.

When you can not see the pattern

you must still trust it is there

broken but beloved with Emily




and jamming with Bonnie




 

in their shoes

not my words today, but His as I opened my journal to listen--

walk in their shoes

or lack of

right now

to gain empathy

to hear 

My heart

be open to learn

be open to feel

accepting emptiness

gives me space

to fill

that is where

the joy goes

the pub is open again, I'm hanging out with the poets
 

listening

I took time in the silence of the early morning to sit in my Jesus chair, journal in hand, asking the Lord about the word I sensed He gave me for 2014.

Prepare.  That is the word I believe You gave me for this year beginning.  Was I hearing You correctly Lord?  Is there more you want to share today?

You listen well, little one.  I Am pleased when you search My Word to find My heart.  You are wise to acknowledge that all is in My hands and that your part is to surrender to My work.  Yes, much is being prepared for you.  Much has been prepared long, long ago, just waiting for you to walk the path you are now stepping upon.

I know what I know what I have always known.

The surprises that await you will not be a surprise to Me.  FInd strength and peace in that.

a bit later, as I was riding my recumbent exercycle, praising and praying, He added to His words:

Many take the fast road, most take the low road.  I have you on the high road, walking with Me.  And I built the road long, long before, knowing, always knowing you would be here now.

So let your life relax in Mine.  I have loved you from the beginning.  I know the plans I have. A good plan that has you standing in the light, carrying the light.

There will be a highway called the Holy Road. No one rude or rebellious is permitted on this road. It’s for God’s people exclusively — impossible to get lost on this road. 
Isaiah 35:8 The Message