do not yet I do

a morning rebuke from my Lord:

how many times have I told you "fear not"?

how often need I remind you "do not worry"?

yet you worry still

you ponder and calculate and fret

and all of this you do without Me

for when you come

the relaxation is almost immediate

"Do not worry about tomorrow"

but you worry

about tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

what if? if then? and then?

trails of possibilities that may never come to be

do you know the future?

I do!

I Am solid and sure and worthy of your trust

let go of all the rest

So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, 

for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. 

Sufficient for each day is its own trouble. 

Matthew 6:34 Amplified

reverse fade

 

tension and confusion

left cracks

in my spirit

the air grew thin

as light faded

harder each day

to inhale Him

but even as I was letting go

He held me strong

I grabbed hold

before all hope leaked away

 learning anew

 how to breathe

exhale anxiety

inhale peace

exhale defeat

inhale victory

exhale self

inhale Jesus

life, light and joy returning

not in drips 

now in cascades

 May the God of your hope 

so fill you with all joy and peace in believing 

[through the experience of your faith] 

that by the power of the Holy Spirit 

you may abound 

and be overflowing (bubbling over) with hope.

Romans 15:13 Amplified

seeing the ugly idols

Bonnie asked us to share what we are learning about ourselves
at the same time Jennifer Dukes Lee is challenging us
to uncover and face our love idols then surrender them
during Lent and all the days that follow

it isn't easy to look at ugly
and particularly difficult
when the ugly is our own
fully rooted and thriving

I continue to discover how deep
my need to gain approval
of my heart, my thoughts
my words
when I look honestly
I see myself
leaning too hard on comments
virtual pats on the back
blog followers, social networking ego kisses

I think perhaps I write less than I could
or should, permitting fear
to block the flow

for if there is no output to be judged
I won't have to confront the possibility
that my words don't sing to the hearts of others
that my words have no weight, no power
no place to bear fruit

silly, that

for the words are not mine anyway
I have surrendered them
to Him, allowing Him to set the pace
the meter, message,
I am simply a pen
in His hand, the words
already pre-approved

I covet your prayers
as I take this time to soak in truth
allowing it to saturate my heart
silencing seductive lies
and together may we learn
how deep, how wide, how everlasting
is the love He lavishes freely upon us

And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you’ll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. Ephesians 3:18 The Message




jamming with Bonnie
 

dear frightened one

Dear younger self, 

frightened one:

You have come to a place 

where you can no longer deny 

the reality of the Lord's presence

how He had been calling and calling you 

and your closed ears would not hear.

You are ready to open your heart

to give Him room.

You have made a choice, a decision.

Those who have helped you along the way 

suggest you will soon become a mouthpiece for Him.

This is where the fear settles.  

You want to keep this private.

You respond with stubborn anger.

I don't want to be a ($@^#$* minister.

No one will make me talk about this.

Your fists are clenched

holding tight to your emotions.

You are not ready to see what I see now.

You can't see the fire that will settle 

deep in your bones and move your tongue

to not only speak

but shout, declare, sing His praise.

You can't see how the future spreads 

wide over years of learning to surrender.

But in time your eyes will open.

You will be where I am know

planning to travel to the other end of the world

to share His story, His wonder, His glory.

writing a letter to my self with Velvet Ashes








and joining Lisa-Jo where the word is see







 

surrendering uncertainty

The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith; 

and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety. 

George Müller

When I look at the budget set before me

and the financial support goals that must be met

in honesty I must admit my flesh trembles

yet I know I must surrender

fear, anxiety, uncertainty

to my God 

Who already has it planned

I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief! 

Mark 9:24b NIV

Day 27 of 31 Days of Surrender

 

in the clearing

the twisted road finds dark corners

twigs snapping beneath 

the softest of

footfalls, fear 

creeps damp, cold 

the sense of not being 

quite alone, like sweat clinging close 

but this is no

horror story, not

a journey of fear

listen, follow step into the space

around the bend

where light bursts forth

according to plan

at the pub telling stories
in exactly 55 words
 

numb

media rush
news floods fresh
streaming video
words, images
instant graphics
and prayer requests
how many wounded?
fatalties?
children lost
or broken?
I care
or want to care
but I am muffled
a numbness
settling around me
not ice, not fire
no, instead the absence of
like sleep, thick and heavy
here, it is safe

yet I fear the waking

I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! Revelation 3:15-16 NLT

Yes, pray for the hurting, the lost and the broken in Oklahoma, and feel

Linking up at the pub today

 

Allowing emptiness

It is very hard to allow emptiness to exist in our lives. 

Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, 

a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. 

It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. 

God wants to dwell in our emptiness. 

But as long as we are afraid of God 

and God's actions in our lives, 

it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. 

Let's pray that we can let go of our fear of God 

and embrace God as the source of all love. 

Henri Nouwen

leaning in to listen with Sandy

 

Come in trust

When I get really afraid

I come to you in trust.

I’m proud to praise God;

fearless now, I trust in God.

What can mere mortals do?

Psalm 56:3-4 The Message

 

Laura Rath is kindly hosting the Sunday Chorus this week

 

How can I not sing?

There have been rocky days and unsettled nights in our home, tension hovering in the air like the steam that rises over water just ready to boil.

We are facing updates or repairs to our water filtration system or an enormous investment in running rural water lines across the miles.

All at once I am faced with a variety of health issues, some minor, others more substantial.  Appointments are scheduled, prayers requested, and yet, fears linger.

Add to these, vehicle breakdowns and the need now to not repair, but likely purchase again, when we have only had mere months without car loan payments.

I am not foolish enough (though I would gladly be a fool for Christ) to watch these troubles piling precariously one on the other without some sense of uncertainty.  I would be a liar to claim I am free from trepidation.  It seems as though we have been stuck in a life size game of Jenga, waiting for the tower to topple.

In our daily verse email this morning God's message was unclouded:

Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life. Ecclesiastes 7:14 NLT

He Is always
His thoughts and plans just beyond my grasp
and even when I am afraid
when my eyes don't see the light
He Is worthy to be praised

and through my mind rumble the words of a hymn by Eva Cassidy:

My life goes on in endless song
above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
that hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear it's music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

Linking over at Peter's where the word today is jubilant

Be brave and fear less

I used to imagine
that to be brave
meant to run into fear straight on
racing directly into the fire
But time teaches
and slowly, I learn

To be brave is to
fear – less
walk away from fear
one step
at a time

Fear does not diminish, no
there is never less to fear
the world spins on
a pace dizzying to most
hazards seeming to rise at every turn

But there is a hand
always ready to lead me
if I reach, grasp, hold on
then brave in His presence
I shed fear


Jamming with Bonnie where the topic is fearless
 

and joining Lisa-Jo where today's word is brave

 

Poetic madness?

The courage of the poet is to keep ajar the door that leads into madness. 

Christopher Morley

Courage
what God not only asks but commands of me
yet how often the pen remains frozen in my hand
fearing what may enter in
as a trickle
only to leave as a flood

But I know He holds my hand
my lifeline
my way back

So I step out
and step in
to hear, see, feel
then allow words
to share those places
many fear to go

Poetry lives in the broken pieces

Joining Peter Pollock and the gang as we look at madness


 

I didn't fly alone...

It was going to be a long day of traveling. I had two flights ahead of me. I had selected aisle seats for a bit of extra legroom and to avoid feeling trapped. I was surprised at the number of people traveling so early on a Sunday morning and it seemed that many of them were going to be on this same plane.

I always pray for safe travel and for divine encounters that God arranges for His purposes, so I usually don’t hesitate to speak to strangers. As I located seat 23C I noticed a tiny, older woman already seated in the center seat of the row. I said a quiet “Hi” and she looked up at me with a friendly smile....

Read the rest of this story Here at Internet Cafe Devotions where I'm sharing about the company of strangers.

His pen?

Image via Wikipedia

Each word thought of, shaped, captured
set in place upon the screen
or on paper, with caught breath
is another leap
a surrendering of fear
will I honour
or misrepresent
my Lord?

Each prayer thought of, shaped, captured
declared into the heavens
or the stillness, with caught breath
a small step
a surrendering of my "self"
Do I ask for my will
here, or what will glorify
His name?

The cry of my heart is to be a simple tool, a pen in His hand. I am gathering like minded artists for a series of guest posts about the experience of writing for Him.

Stay tuned!  If you are interested in taking part, please ask!


Jamming with Bonnie (and Billy!) this week about Small acts of faith

Joining Emily and the rest who spill imperfected words

Incomplete

We are artists here.  Writers, painters, photographers.
There is a drive to create deposited within us by the One Who created all.
We hold our works in progress tenderly, seeds in our hands, in our hearts.
At times we move too quickly, impatient to see the end result.
More often, we are slow, afraid to move, build, breathe, lest we make a mistake.
Fear builds fences, gates, walls of stone, prisons.

We too are works in progress,  in the Father's hand, clay on His potter's wheel
for He, even He, takes time and care to perfect that which He creates
He is jealous for His glory and will not share it, so that He alone is the Perfector

What we shape is incomplete, by His design
we are not meant to finish the work
but in submission, in surrender, bend to His plan

So I rejoice with the others here in the imperfection of our works
as offerings of worship
and the fire that drives us on.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong 
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 NIV

Stop by Emily's to join us, the imperfect


Jamming with Bonnie today about perfectionism

Time to quit?

Today Bonnie gave us the following prompt:. 

To quit or not to quit. Share your thoughts or experience on quitting something or not quitting something.

This past year I struggled long and struggled hard. I needed to make a decision to step away from the leadership of intercessory prayer ministry, and also felt an insistant call to step away from a church body we have prayed for, worshipped in and fellowshipped with for the last ten years.

Words like failure, defeat and quitter banged about in my head.  Fears were multiplied by those who asked if I was stepping away due to offense, had I been hurt, did I think that I could find perfection somewhere else?  I spent long hours inquiring of the Lord, wanting to hear His voice and His voice only.  At the same time, in some misery, I continued life as usual, pressing in until I was certain I had heard the Lord's request.

I was hurting, confused, trying to keep everyone else happy, juggling too many balls in the air, striving in my own ability to understand and make things right.  If God was telling me one thing and everyone else was saying something else, could I be hearing wrong? 

God was saying "go" while I was expecting Him, like the people around me, to convince me to stay.  I believe I received His answer many times before I heard it clearly enough to act upon it.

If you shut the door to everything else - keep it open to Me and I will continue to enter. I will show when to fling gates wide or crack them narrow. When you feel without wisdom, lean on Mine, for I see and I know.  Even in correction, I Am your place of safety.

When we hear a call, to submit, to surrender, to make the hardest of choices, will we listen and obey?  Lead me then, blessed Lord, in the way that I should go, even when in doing so I may leave those I've loved behind, to find in You my strength, the call to rise for the glory of Your name.



Jamming with Bonnie about quitting

linking as well with Emily and others who write broken and imperfect prose