fingers wide

the sorting, sifting

shifting perspective continues

and in the jumble, the crumbled

dreams, the ragged edges

tiny tasty bits, too precious

to discard 

where then, to hold 

these treasures 

found?

what release will be

required next?

my hands willed open

fingers spread wide

in a stubborn "yes"

sorrow escapes

dreams that die

leave empty space, openings 

where sorrow escapes

what room to fill

as light invades

and dreams are birthed anew

Highway dream

from https://www.dreamstime.com

I was driving in the left lane of a large expressway (western style, driver in the left seat of car)

In the lane of oncoming traffic next to me there was a fire (not sure if it was a vehicle burning or something else)

The air was dark and smoke filled making it difficult to see anything.  I was driving fast and almost didn’t notice a fire truck or ambulance driving toward me in my lane. As I quickly attempted to move to the next lane another emergency vehicle pulled into that lane. I was able to swerve and avoid hitting them, still maintaining my speed.

As soon as I passed, everything exploded into flames that I could see in my rear view mirror as I continued moving forward.

During this time of turning, transition awaits

and I know we are to continue moving ahead.

What fires or trials we will avoid and those that wait ahead 

are as yet unknown.

But only to us.

Our Lord already knows and has already felt the flames.

May we look only to Him 

and pass through smoke free.

and the satraps, prefects, governors and royal advisers crowded around them. 

They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair of their heads singed; 

their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.

Daniel 3:27 NIV

impolite refusals

There is much truth revealed in the mystery of dreams.  Jessie, the main character in my novel learns much as she sleeps.  And so, another clip --

She settled into the softness of her warm bed and fell quickly into sleep.  She dreamed again of fruit, boxes and boxes of the ripest and tastiest fruit.  She had set up a stand on a busy street corner and was offering the fruit for free to anyone who wanted it.  She knew there were lots of hungry people, but very few stopped to take what she was giving.  When they heard that there was no charge, many said there must be something wrong with it.

“No, it’s the very best fruit you ever tasted” Jessie said.

“I don't believe it” said a man as he walked away empty handed.  “There’s nothing good that comes for free.”

“Probably old and rotten” said a pretty middle aged woman in tattered clothes, shaking her head “no” as Jessie extended her hand with a large bunch of grapes.  She certainly looked like she could have used the food.  “Are you sure?” Jessie asked again.  “They're really, really fresh and sweet.”

“What’s the catch?” the woman asked, as did many others as they passed by.  “You give this away free and then what?”

“Then nothing” Jessie answered.

“Yeah, right.  So what’s in it for you?”  Jessie was surprised at just how suspicious people were.

“Nothing in it for me” she said.  “I just have all this fruit and I can't eat it all by myself.”

“Then maybe you're just stupid” said a slick looking man in a suit and shiny shoes.  “If you have that much, why not sell it, make yourself some good money?”

She found herself answering the same questions over and over again.  As darkness fell she had almost as much fruit as when she started.

“What a shame” she thought.  “I have so much to give away and no one is interested.  I can't possibly take all these boxes home, maybe if I leave them here someone will take some when no one is watching.”  She filled one box with a variety of fruits to take with her and left the rest there on the corner.  As she was walking away she was stopped by a policeman.

“You can’t leave your garbage out on the street like that Miss.”

“It’s not garbage, it’s good food.  I don't understand why no one wants it.”

“Doesn't matter what it is” he answered.  “You can't leave it there.  Take it somewhere or throw it away.”

Jessie stood before him and started to cry.  She was sad and tired and didn't know how to start moving all those boxes.

She woke with tears in eyes that scanned the room realizing she had been dreaming.

“If someone ever offered me something good, I don't think I would have turned it down” she thought.

“I offer Myself, and people choose to not accept Me” came the voice that she longed to hear.

“But you’re even better than the best fruit.  I just don't understand.  I just don't understand” she thought as she fell back to sleep.

Jessie found herself back near the same street corner.  All of the fruit boxes had been removed and in their place stood a man that looked like the pictures of Jesus that she saw at Bobbie’s house.  She stood close enough to watch and listen.  The man was reaching out his hand to the people walking down the street, smiling, nodding his head and sometimes speaking words of greeting.  While she watched, no one took his hand; instead they ignored him or altered their steps so that they didn't even come close to where he stood. With each passing man, woman or child Jessie could see a shadow cross his face, like a flash of pain.  Then his smile would return.  It hurt Jessie to watch him so she rushed to his side, taking his hand.  Others shouted for her to be careful and stay away.  “Don't trust strangers” they called, or “You don't even know who he is.”

“No” she answered back, though no one was listening.  “You don't know who He is, but I do.”



walking with Emily and the beloved imperfect ones

 

reminding myself to breathe

my nights swirl with dreams

I wake often 

listen to the worship music that fills the room

stretch, pray, turn to snuggle close

to the one rests peacefully beside me

breathe

I remind myself

inhale truth

exhale love

my days scatter

with emails, phone calls

calendars and spread sheets

tracking financial support

scheduling speaking, sharing times

breathe

I remind myself

inhale courage

exhale faith

none of this is a big deal

for the One Who 

holds all things in His hand

He has this

He has me

He has us all

God answered Moses, 

“So, do you think I can’t take care of you? 

You’ll see soon enough 

whether what I say happens for you or not.” 

Numbers 11:23 The Message

walking with Emily loved in our imperfection

 

choices

More and more I have been reading the tales of those who live with the rumble and shouts of voices that grab their heart and mind with lie upon lie.  Words not of life, but condemnation, confusion and shame.

So I share below a snip of my novel-in-progress, Redeeming Silence.  
Learning to hear the One True Voice is the underlying theme.

“That was a big dinner” she thought “and I'm so full. But I still want to try to eat more of God.” She sank into the sofa and opened her bible, continuing to read where she had left off.

By their fruit you will know them. Grapes aren't gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles, are they? In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, but a rotten tree produces bad fruit. A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, and a rotten tree cannot produce good fruit. Matthew 7:16-18

“You know what kind of tree you are” the voices sneered.

“Are you going to listen to them?” asked the calm One.

“No, I am not” thought Jessie. “Help me to not hear them.”

“Choose to not listen. Choose.”

“Okay” Jessie whispered aloud. “I only want to listen to you.”  She closed her eyes and breathing deeply, drifted.

She was in surrounded by trees. Everywhere she looked she saw lush green leaves and more types of fruit than she had ever seen before in one place. There were apples of every colour, peaches, pears and every sort of citrus fruit. She wandered from tree to tree and noticed that there was not a single blemish or spot on any of the fruits. Each one looked perfect. She couldn't resist tasting them, and found each rich and sweet, totally ripe and ready to eat. The juices dribbled down her chin.

The sound of a car starting in the street below woke her. She laughed when she realized she had been drooling. Not juice, just a dream, a very nice, bright dream.

“Thank you God” she said as she rose to prepare for bed. “Thank you for showing me the good trees and not the rotten trees.”

“You can choose what you want to see” she thought she heard Him answer.

“Choices?” she smiled. “I never thought I had any choices. Might take some getting used to.”



walking with Emily and the imperfect but beloved
 

travelling a new way

Rick and I ventured out to town for a meeting last night.  There were a few light flurries dancing about, but the forecast wasn't predicting any problems.

We enjoyed a time of sweet fellowship, prayer and planning.  My closing prayer was for safe travel home for all, mostly us, since we were the ones with a fair distance to cross.

As we pulled out of the church parking lot it was obvious it would be a slow trip.  The wind blew fierce, whipping the snow off the ground in waves of zero visibility. I watched the tension building in Rick's neck and shoulders as he concentrated on the often impossible task of seeing the lines on the highway.

I prayed that God would keep His mighty hand on our vehicle.  I imagined Him guiding us like a child moves a wooden car along a track.  The twenty minute trip took almost three times as long, but we did finally arrive home safe and without incident.  A chorus of praise and thanks rang from our hearts, spirits and lips.

We snuggled close in our cozy bed, grateful to be home.  And I dreamed...

We were travelling again.  Rick was on horseback, but at the same time he was leading a team pulling a cart.  I was seated at his right side, in a seat, not on a horse.  This seemed perfectly normal.  We were in an area we had visited frequently but noticed things we had never seen. High on hill tops I looked down and saw castle and village ruins and urged Rick to turn back so we could explore.  Filled with a sense of wonder and amazement, I woke, interrupted by the morning alarm.

When I brought this dream before the Lord, He replied:

you will be going a new way
as you slow down
I will show you both the future and the past
you will see what you have always missed before
in the time to come I will give you My eyes
this is part of the gift of My heart

 

surrendering the fight

I have long wanted

what I wanted

when I wanted

how I wanted

after all, I had rights

things I was certain I deserved

and didn't God promise

to prosper me

to give me the desires 

of my heart?

my spirit fought

what was

wishing for what wasn't

what about my dreams?

my ideas? my, my, my....

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord.

    “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.

For just as the heavens are higher than the earth,

    so my ways are higher than your ways

    and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Isaiah 55:8-9 NLT

I am choosing

with deliberate intention

to give up the fight

for what I might see 

as perfect plans

that I might desire

what He desires

surrendering to ways

far beyond my own imagination

and thoughts so much higher than my own

that I can't quite grasp them

Day 23 of 31 Days of Surrender










and joining Emily in all my imperfection

 

silent hopes and dreams

This is a song that I first heard in the early months of my rebirth.
It has never lost its impact.
There is always more to surrender, more to daily release.
God grant me the grace to follow hard after you.

I have wrestled in the darkness of this lonely pilgrim land
Raising strong and mighty fortresses that I alone command
But these castles I've constructed by the strength of my own hand
Are just temporary kingdoms on foundations made of sand

In the middle of the battle I believe I've finally found
I'll never know the thrill of victory till I'm willing to lay down
All my weapons of defense and earthly strategies of war
So I'm laying down my arms and running helplessly to Yours

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires that all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

If the source of my ambition is the treasure I obtain
If I measure my successes on a scale of earthly gain
If the focus of my vision is the status I attain
My accomplishments are worthless and my efforts are in vain

So I lay aside these trophies to pursue a higher crown
And should You choose somehow to use the life I willingly lay down
I surrender all the triumph for it's only by Your grace
I relinquish all the glory, I surrender all the praise

I surrender all my silent hopes and dreams
Though the price to follow costs me everything
Well I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires that all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

Everything I am, all I've done, and all I've known
Now belongs to You, the life I live is not my own
Just as Abraham laid Isaac on the sacrificial fire
If all I have is all that You desire
I surrender all

I surrender all my human soul desires
If sacrifice requires that all my kingdoms fall
That all my kingdoms fall, that all my kingdoms fall
I surrender all

Songwriters: Hamm and Moffitt

Day 17 of 31 Days of Surrender

 

Abundance

We stayed up late last night, talking and laughing with friends in the warmth of our own living room.  We talked about today, about yesterdays and about what we think the future has waiting for us.

This morning I stayed snuggled under the quilt longer than usual, attempting to recover lost sleep.    The extra time was ripe with dreams.

Dreams of abundance.

Not an abundance of things, or money or any other sort of material wealth.  What was being stretched out before me was an abundance of opportunities.  Each time I would being work on a project someone would come along and offer something else that sounded interesting, fun or challenging.

I was asked, again and again, what I really wanted to do with my time.  My answer was consistent.

I want to write and prepare for whatever long term mission work God sets before us.

Dreams exposing my heart.  Dreams revealing the heart of God.

Watch out sings my spirit.  Doors are going to start opening like crazy!

This is what the Lord, ·who saves you [your Redeemer], the Holy One of Israel, says: “I am the Lord your God, who teaches you ·to do what is good [what is best; or how to succeed], who leads you in the way you should go. Isaiah 48:17 Expanded Bible

  
 

Trying to remember dreams

In the pre-dawn silence I walked along the water's edge, shoe's in my hand, feeling the soft lapping of the waves upon my feet. The cold was a welcome contrast against the heavy stillness of the air.  Time seemed frozen there, on the empty beach as I waited for the morning sun to rise.  My eyes had grown accustomed to the lack of light, so as slivers of orange and red and gold began to break above the surface of the water I squinted against the brightness.

Stepping a few paces back from the water, I sat in the sand, watching the colourful display unfold.  Another morning was beginning, like the day before, and the next, an endless progression of days that seemed to hold no meaning.

“Things fall apart, the centre does not hold” I remembered reading somewhere, and the words fit the pattern of my thoughts, thoughts of a teenager indeed prone to over dramatizing, trying to fit my life into a poetry of sorts.

My eyes were dry and scratchy, the lack of rest cracking the corners.  One night?  Two?  More?  I couldn't remember the last time I felt the peace of sleep and so wanted to be overcome.

I had gone there alone to walk the shore, to wonder at the beauty, to find something I didn't know I was missing without knowing what that something was.  There is no treasure map to follow when you don't know what you're looking for.  My hands dug deep in the sand around where I sat, the grit of it caking under my fingernails, not chewed but picked at, leaving them sharp, short and uneven.  Sand sifted through hands that felt they could hold nothing and a heart that was learning not to try.

Then I spotted it, just an arms reach away, something catching the light in the sand.  A small piece of glass, worn smooth around the edges, a milky opaque green created by water, sand and time.  I placed it in the pocket of my jeans, rubbing it between my fingers and returned to walking the shoreline.

And all at once, there was the day, stretching out before me as I wondered, “what next?”

I was too young to have no purpose, no goals, nothing to aim at.  No course was set.  No wonder time seemed to stretch out endlessly, no scheduled separated the hours.

“I have nowhere to go and no one to be. Did I ever have a plan?”  At fourteen I paced the shoreline and tried to remember dreams.

 

joining Lisa-Jo for the word remember

 

Feeling His heartbeat

When I first met the Lord and surrendered my life into His hands I was overjoyed.  He loved me enough to give His life for me.  This was good news, good news indeed!  So began a honeymoon season with my new King.  It was a time of celebrating and thanking Him for all He had done for me and looking forward to the life He had waiting for me.

Are you noticing a theme here?  My relationship with God was all about me.  When the honeymoon ended I was able to move into a time of wanting to know Jesus for Who He Is and not only what He could do for me.  I prayed that I would feel His heartbeat.  It was a prayer He was more than willing to answer.

The following scriptures came alive, piercing through my selfish spirit.

Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me.’ Matthew 25:40 The Message

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you James 1:27 NLT

The Voice, a song by Lianna Klassen combined Isaiah's words:

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!”  Isaiah 6:8 NIV

with words spoken by missionary in Ecuador Jim Elliot:

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose 

The melody echoed in my mind and the words quaked in my heart. The Lord had indeed listened to my prayer and continued to answer.  I had the following dream that I recorded in my journal:

The Lord, my Lord said “Walk with Me. Walk with Me” 

and I said “but Lord I’m tired” 

and He kept calling “walk with Me” 

“But I’m tired Lord” 

“Walk with Me – I’ll take your burden. My yoke is easy, My burden is light” 

and so we walked – through sewers - and starving people were everywhere and forever 

 but He said all they needed was to know Him 

He was there for them, He died for them. They only need to know Him. 

“Walk with me”

I was broken, yet somehow felt more whole than ever before.  The blood that was shed for me flows through my veins.  This life is not about me, but about what He might do through me to touch others.

Sponsor a Child

We chose Compassion as a sponsorship program because of their focus on not only providing help, but doing all in the name of Jesus!  I ask that you would take some time to inquire of the Lord, ask Him in what ways He may be calling you to get involved as His hands and feet in this world.

 

yes to the next

 

Yesterday I wrote about saying "yes"

to get to the last, start at the next

the next page

the next breath

the next door

open wide to the "yes" 
and watch dreams unfold

sweeten the day for yourself or a friend
visit wordcandy now

 

1000 posts

This is a place where words spill out
my heart exposed
in poetry, prose
random or structured
in colour
or black and white
thoughts of the day
dreams in the night
and all with the prayer
that anything that shines
reflects His glory alone

This post marks one thousand times I have clicked publish
but cannot count the hearts that I have met along the way

Thank you for joining me on this journey
with all of the twists and turns
valleys and mountain tops.

May we find Him with each and every step we take.

And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.  Colossians 3:17 NIV


 

Thankful for choice

Sharing a bit of a snip from my work-in-progress:

“That was a big dinner” she thought “and I’m so full. But I still want to try to eat more of God.” She sank into the sofa and opened her bible, continuing on where she left off.

You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act. Can you pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles? ¹⁷ A good tree produces good fruit, and a bad tree produces bad fruit.  Matthew 7:16-17 NLT

“You know what kind of tree you are” the voices sneered.

“Are you going to listen to them?” asked the calm One.

“No, I am not” thought Jessie. “Help me to not hear them.”

“Choose to not listen. Choose.”

“Okay” Jessie whispered aloud. “I only want to listen to you.” She closed her eyes and breathing deeply, drifted into a dream.

She was in surrounded by trees. Everywhere she looked she saw lush green leaves and more types of fruit than she had ever seen before in one place. There were apples of every colour, peaches, pears and every sort of citrus fruit. She wandered from tree to tree and noticed that there was not a single blemish or spot on any of the fruits. Each one looked perfect. She couldn’t resist tasting them, and found each one rich and sweet, totally ripe and ready to eat. The juices dribbled down her chin.

The sound of a car starting in the street below woke her. She laughed when she realized she had been drooling. Not juice, just a dream, a very nice, bright dream.

“Thank you God” she said as she rose to prepare for bed. “Thank you for showing me the good trees and not the rotten trees.”

“You can choose what you want to see” she thought she heard Him answer.

“Choices?” she smiled. “I never thought I had any choices. Might take some getting used to.”



Jamming with Bonnie about gratitude

Sharing with Emily and the others imperfect but loved.

 

Helping a miracle

In his new book What's the Best That Could Happen,  Jason Stasyszen shares insights and encouragement in the same way he shares on his blog Connecting to Impact.

I have always been challenged and spurred on by Jason's words, for example, in Chapter 15 - A Life of Obedience and Trust he writes:

There is a blessing in obedience that cannot be understated. It's a blessing of heart, mind, soul, and spirit. It proves we are who we say we are. If we confess to be followers of Jesus, obedience proves we follow Jesus. If there's not obedience to what He taught (and how He leads) then we aren't living in truth.

This strikes deep into my spirit, for my greatest desire is indeed to walk in radical obedience.  It is in fact obedience to the Lord's voice that calls me to share this book and help both a friend and a child.

If you've never read Jason's blog, this book is  a great way to catch up. 

For regular followers, you likely already know that Jason and his family are believing a miracle will unfold around them as they raise funds to go to Japan to bring home the adopted son they have dreamed of for years.

Your purchase of this wonderful E-Book will help support their cause.  Find out more about the book and how you can help by clicking HERE.  If you don't want to purchase the book you can donate directly, and if you can't donate, you can pray.  Follow the journey at Jason's blog Connecting to Impact.


 

The Me Project by Kathi Lipp Blog Tour

The Blog Tour for Kathi Lipp's The Me Project 21 Days to Living the Life You've Always Wanted is stopping right here in my own living room! This is what Harvest House Publishers say about this new book:

Most women in the midst of careers, marriage, raising children, and caring for parents set their personal goals aside. The Me Project provides women with fun and creative ways to bring back the sense of purpose and vitality that comes with living out the plans and dreams God has planted in their hearts. Kathi Lipp’s warm tone and laugh-out-loud humor will motivate women to take daily steps toward bringing purpose back into their lives and give them the confidence they can do it in spite of busy schedules.

A woman who reads and applies The Me Project will:

•discover the unique plan God has for her life and her role as a wife, mother, worker, or volunteer

•gather a community of like-minded women who want to make their goals a priority

•change her attitudes toward her roles in life, as well as how she approaches her personal goals

This handy guide coaches women to do one simple thing toward achieving their goals each day for three weeks, bringing a sense of vitality and exhilaration back into their lives.

I look forward to working my way through these pages allowing the Holy Spirit to lead me in the ways He desires me to go, making His dreams come to bear fruit in my life.

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking each year to thousands of women throughout the United States. She is the author of The Husband Project and The Marriage Project and has had articles published in several magazines, including Today’s Christian Woman and Discipleship Journal. Kathi and her husband, Roger, live in California and are the parents of four teenagers and young adults.  You can visit her website HERE

Without wings

I'm joining Brian Miller for Friday Poetically.  This week he shares the art work of his friend Bonnie of Original Art Studio and asks us to choose one of her pictures, allowing it to prompt a poem.

Living in shadow
dreaming of wings
an embrace
uncaptured

Solidly grounded
dreaming of flight
one strong wind
setting free

Gazing in wonder
dreaming a kiss
holding breath
enraptured

Searching for answers
dreaming of nights
love returned
let it be

Stop by One Stop Poetry to see what others have shared today.