poured out

image found at http://www.pilgrimscribblings.com

Sunday morning I had to opportunity to share the message at a small church about three hours from home.  I spoke of consecration, of being "sold-out".

My life is not my own, but His
the fruit I bear, not for myself to nibble
but a meal to serve

as Oswald Chambers wrote:

We are here to submit to His will so that He may work through us what He wants. Once we realize this, He will make us broken bread and poured-out wine with which to feed and nourish others.

My life is being ·given as an offering to God [ poured out as a drink offering]
2 Timothy 4:6a Expanded

so what of these crumbs
the remains of me
scattering
upon the table
an altar
where all I was
drains, drips, pours
open hands can not hold
treasure or torture
grief, regrets released
wash away in that flood
broken bread
swept into the wind

joining Peter and the gang where we're letting go of grief

and hanging out at the pub

 

Releasing to joy

You have changed my sadness into a joyful dance; 

you have taken away my sorrow 

and surrounded me with joy. 

Psalm 30:11 Good News Translation

My clutch is tense

the grip firm, unyielding

automatic

holding on to what I know

even knives that cut

slicing pain 

into my deepest parts

aching to empty, release 

leave myself open

to the exchange

He offers freely

letting go of it all

to be lost in the dance

linking at Peter's today to talk about letting go of sadness

and submitting these words at the pub tonight

 

Digging in

I have grown fat

on a diet rich

with disappointments

learned to crave bitter

the salt of too many tears

cracked lips, tongue

till sweet almost slipped away

lost to memory

so I'm letting go

of those one notes

seeing the need for parfaits

layers of flavour

stripes of hope

cool to a fevered brow

spices to entice, delight

awaken a heart turned ice jagged

give me a long thin silver spoon

I'm digging in deep 

Talking about letting go at Peter's where the word is disappointments

and joining the poetry jam about stripes

 

Taking back time

We are only given 60 minutes in each hour
24 hours in each day
7 days in each week
and minutes tick on
and hours flash past
days and weeks hurry on
and it feels like life just slips away...

Lord, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered— how fleeting my life is.You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand.My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath. Psalm 39:4-5 NLT

The beginning of a new year is useful as a time to reflect and pray and plan, a time to put aside bad habits replacing them with something better.  I pondered ways I could take back fleeting time and decided to take a break from playing computer games.

This should have been easy, but habits grow deep.  It felt like my fingers wanted to press keyboard keys, and without a tight reign on my hands I would have clicked to open game boards without even thinking.

It has been more than a month.  I have more time to read, more time to write, more time for real connection with the people God places in my path.  I can't say I don't miss the games, or that I won't ever return to a bit of play now and then, but I am rejoicing that I have moved beyond the automatic, mindlessness of habitual play.

I can't add a minute to the time God has portioned for me, but I can choose to use what He has given in ways that best bring glory to His name.

linking up with Peter today as we talk about habits

 

Honor

Heaven is declaring God’s glory; 
the sky is proclaiming his handiwork.

One day gushes the news to the next, 
and one night informs another what needs to be known.

Of course, there’s no speech, no words—
their voices can’t be heard—

but their sound extends throughout the world; 
their words reach the ends of the earth.

Psalm 19 1:4 Common English Bible

Father, mother, those placed in earthly authority

all these command, deserve

Mention my work, thank me

I reply that I am humbled to receive

Asked to contribute, help, serve

my response is that I would be 

And yet, as I gaze, jaw slack 

at all He Is,Was,Will Be

within me, around me

every speck, every breath of being

I can do nothing

but give all honor to Him

Joining Peter and the gang talking about honor

 

Forsake me not

Do not cast me away when I am old; 

do not forsake me when my strength is gone.

  Psalm 71:9 NIV

For the more than six years that I worked as a region coordinator for the Alzheimer Society of Manitoba I had the above passage from Psalms hanging on my office wall.  It felt like the cry of the spirits of those people I was there to help.

In the constant quest for new we do indeed often cast aside the familiar, the well worn, the old.  Think for a moment of the mad rush around you, the line of people trading in their cell phones for the latest I-Phone 5.  Not that there was anything wrong with the phones they had, but the lure of something newer pulls strong.

I have been spending some time moving in reverse, finding beauty where I had not expected it.  The main character in the novel I am writing learns to know Jesus in a very traditional, liturgical, orthodox church.  I have spent hours exploring the rituals and divine liturgies, and while I know beyond knowing that it is grace that saves me, not ritualistic acts, I have found much to feast upon in the ancient ways.  I am saddened by how much we have forsaken simply because it was old and something more modern caught our attention.

This afternoon, our church fellowship took their turn at presenting the chapel service at both the hospital and the care home.  We led those gathered in singing old songs, words that many sang without needing to scan the pages of the hymn books. Songs that many new believers have never heard for in the midst of our worship wars (and if you haven't noticed worship wars, you are blessed or blind, or simply living in denial) we have left them behind, replaced again and again by new lyrics and melodies.

Can't we bring in the new without casting out the old.  Can we sift and save, blending sweet and rich with the young and fresh, keeping the best of all?

Joining Peter today where the word is old

 

Pale imitation

My eyes catch glimpses of His handiwork

intricate, well woven

working with a Master's skill

a design all His own

blending light into colours 

we could never have imagined

Our work, no matter how ornate 

fades in comparison

Joining Peter and the gang talking about ornate

 

As the orange comes

The air grows crisp

brittle as the dying leaves

as the orange comes

mingling gold with scarlet flash

the geese take flight

wings were born for this

the spiral circles 

call deep

my spirit vibrates

with the cry

to go

Joining Peter and the gang talking orange

 

Confessions of a reformed chameleon

Image found at 
http://facinatingamazinganimals.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/visits-from-a-chameleon-other-animals/ 

In my younger years I did not know who I was. I seemed to have no identity of my own. Convinced that I was in some way defective I sought the approval of others.  If someone, anyone, thought I was okay then maybe I was good enough after all.

For the sake of fitting in I could change my words and actions so fast that a chameleon would swoon with envy.  Certainly all the colours were beautiful, but it was exhausting trying to keep track of who I was with each person I knew.  I was terrified of having my friends together in one place and having to try to be just one me.  My life moved along in a blur, seeming unreal because I was not real.

Dictionary.com defines sincere as follows:

adjective, sin·cer·er, sin·cer·est.
1. free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness; earnest: a sincere apology.
2. genuine; real: a sincere effort to improve; a sincere friend.
3. pure; unmixed; unadulterated.
4. Obsolete . sound; unimpaired

How could I be genuine if I didn't even know who I was?

Then I met the One Who created me, Who had waited with exquisite patience for me to open my eyes and heart to Him.  No longer was I a defective mistake but instead a woman of grand design; chosen before time began, perfected by His Spirit in me.  In the years that followed He has continued to release me from the need of man's approval.  I am free to simply be.

Real. Genuine.  Free of deceit.  Pure, unadulterated me.  I am a living, breathing example of WYSIWYG what you see is what you get. Many are not sure what to do with me. Often bold, sometimes brash, seeking courage when fear sneaks in.  I will tell you what I think as my heart opens to pour out what I feel.

I expect the same from others.  Sadly, I am more than often disappointed.  I pray that all would step into the freedom I have found.

To breathe in, breathe out and be who you are.

Joining Peter and the rest talking about the word sincere

Not at all silly...

By modern North American standards we do not possess financial riches yet my husband and I are wealthy indeed.  We have a home on 20 beautiful acres of land, heat when the Canadian winds blow cold, food on the table and a reliable vehicle to drive.  The mortgage gets paid, as does the car loan, even though at times it seems that the money in the bank won't stretch that far. We place our trust in the God Who provides and He hasn't let us down yet.  Silly?  Maybe to some, but not to us.

And though we weren't really sure we would have enough funds to make monthly support payments, we still took the plunge to sponsor an African child through Compassion Canada.  Silly?  According to logic and balance sheets, yes, but we have learned that in the Kingdom of God, things defy man's logic.

Whoever is kind to the poor lends to the Lord,  and he will reward them for what they have done. Proverb 19:17 NIV

In our lack we have so much more than most of the world.  Reaching out with love to a child in need grounds us, excites us, and expands our hearts.  I know it can do the same for you.  I overflow with joy knowing that in some small way I am helping children learn about the love of Jesus.  All that Compassion does is in His name.

Please take a few moments and click over to Compassion's website.  Read about the children who need your loving support.  I pray that you will spend some time asking the Lord what He would have you do.

And if you think that prayer, talking to someone you can not see is silly, I dare you to jump into silliness head first!

Being quite serious today with Peter and the word silly

 

Weapons at hand

I was created to reside in heavenly places
yet dwell here for now
footfalls on this earth

I must remember
it is dangerous, almost impossible
to walk unprotected

We are warned to wear protective armor:

Be prepared. You're up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it's all over but the shouting you'll still be on your feet. Ephesians 6:13 The Message

truth, righteousness, the gospel of peace
faith, salvation and His Word

the tools of war
yet I am so often weak

I strengthen myself with praise
as David did
and reach for my secret weapon
my private arsenal
opening the pages of journals
to feast on words He has spoken directly to me

this, then, is how I fight
eyes fixed on Him
this, then, is how I stand.

Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. Ephesians 6:13 Amplified

Joining Peter and the rest where we're talking about arsenal

 

How can I not sing?

There have been rocky days and unsettled nights in our home, tension hovering in the air like the steam that rises over water just ready to boil.

We are facing updates or repairs to our water filtration system or an enormous investment in running rural water lines across the miles.

All at once I am faced with a variety of health issues, some minor, others more substantial.  Appointments are scheduled, prayers requested, and yet, fears linger.

Add to these, vehicle breakdowns and the need now to not repair, but likely purchase again, when we have only had mere months without car loan payments.

I am not foolish enough (though I would gladly be a fool for Christ) to watch these troubles piling precariously one on the other without some sense of uncertainty.  I would be a liar to claim I am free from trepidation.  It seems as though we have been stuck in a life size game of Jenga, waiting for the tower to topple.

In our daily verse email this morning God's message was unclouded:

Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life. Ecclesiastes 7:14 NLT

He Is always
His thoughts and plans just beyond my grasp
and even when I am afraid
when my eyes don't see the light
He Is worthy to be praised

and through my mind rumble the words of a hymn by Eva Cassidy:

My life goes on in endless song
above earth's lamentations,
I hear the real, though far-off hymn
that hails a new creation.

Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear it's music ringing,
It sounds an echo in my soul.
How can I keep from singing?

No storm can shake my inmost calm,
While to that rock I'm clinging.
Since love is lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?

Linking over at Peter's where the word today is jubilant

Justice for who?

Often we cry out for justice
wanting what is right for ourselves.
Pounding fists on tables
pointing fingers
how loud our demands.
"justice justice justice"
shouts out in the streets
"I want what is mine"

Where is mercy?
Where is kindness?
Where is the heart of our God that He longs to have beating in us?


And the word of the Lord came again to Zechariah: “This is what the Lord Almighty said: ‘Administer true justice; show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the foreigner or the poor. Do not plot evil against each other.’ Zechariah 7:8-10 NIV

He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, and to love kindness and mercy, and to humble yourself and walk humbly with your God? Micah 6:8 Amplified

Joining Peter today where we're talking about justice


 

Missing...

I thought I'd write tomorrow's blog post this afternoon, for tomorrow I shall be away, not at home, not near a computer, missing...

I remembered that tomorrow should be the One Word At A Time Carnival, so I clicked over to Peter's to see what word was scheduled -

missing

Yet again, I love God's timing and sense of humor.

I will be a few hours from here, booked for magnetic resonance imaging of my brain, which I know is surely not missing but perhaps altered in some way that may be responsible for the nerve damage that is causing the rather severe hearing loss in my left ear.

There is much I do not hear, much that I am missing when I grow weary of asking "what?" for the third or fourth time.  Sounds are jumbled, foggy, muted and the roaring in my head often leaves me tired indeed.

I am missing quiet, missing nuance, missing connections...

but in all this, He Is, always, and never missing at all.

Joining the crowd at Peter's place talking about missing

 

A wisdom rarely wise

Sitting in my morning chair, often called my "Jesus chair" I must have had today's one word in my mind as I opened my mind, spirit and journal to the Lord to see what He had to share:

Listen not to the voice of the world for it speaks from the logic of man
a wisdom rarely wise
empty of faith
declaring what it deems possible
and impossible

No, I say again, listen not

Your ears of faith will hear
a sweeter song
a melody of life
orchestrations of possibility

The world would box you in
shut you up
shrink you down
insisting there is less
much less than your spirit sees

Let your heart expand, resonate with Mine
as it sings out
more
there is more
there is more

When the servant of the man of God rose early and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was around the city. Elisha’s servant said to him, Alas, my master! What shall we do?
Elisha answered, Fear not; for those with us are more than those with them.
Then Elisha prayed, Lord, I pray You, open his eyes that he may see. And the Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha.
2 Kings 6:15-17 Amplified

Sharing with Peter and the rest where the word today is more