Tuesday Unwrapped - Emotion

Image by Doblonaut via Flickr

Never apologize for showing feeling. When you do so, you apologize for the truth. Benjamin Disraeli

When Jesus introduced Himself to me in the autumn of 1999 He proved true to the promise in His Word and replaced my concrete heart with one that bleeds.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26 NIV

My life with this new heart has been not merely sprinkled but splattered with emotion; drenched with tears, but also with laughter; filled to overflowing with both sorrow and unspeakable joy.

Once I allowed the Lord to shatter the walls I had build to protect myself I began to walk with my insides out. There are great risks that come with this kind of exposure, but today I am unwrapping the gift of true communion this allows.

Join Emily at Chatting at the Sky and share what you're unwrapping today.

Saturday Eve Blog Post March/April 2010

Elizabeth Esther has asked us to link up to our favorite posts from both March and April.

In March I replied to a challenge by Bonnie the Faith Barista to write about rejection. My response was a post titled Rejection Revisted.

Sixth grade was a year of firsts. First time in a new school. First time of not going home for lunches. First time for romances that felt like the biggest love affairs ever, for a day or two. Sixth grade was a year of wanting to grow up. Read the full post here

In April, while planning a passover sedar celebration I wrote Dayenu-Enough.

The word “Dayenu” means “It would have been enough.” Reciting the “Dayenu” reminds us that we owe unending praise to God. Just as the Lord continually provides for us we should continually give praise to Him. Read the full post here

Now go vist and read other's entries and add your own at Elizabeth Esther

Flashback Friday - Shoreline sunrise

Image by eszter via Flickr

Jo gave us an open theme this week, as long as we went back in time a bit. Here I go way back to a time when I didn't know that what I needed was Jesus. I am thankful beyond words that He knew all along.

In the pre-dawn silence I walked along the water's edge, shoes in my hand, feeling the soft lapping of the waves upon my feet. The cold was a welcome contrast against the heavy stillness of the air. Time seemed frozen there, on the empty beach as I waited for the morning sun to arise. My eyes had grown accustomed to the lack of light, so that as slivers of orange and red and gold began to break above the surface of the water I had to squint against the brightness.

Stepping a few paces back from the water, I sat in the sand, watching the colourful display unfold. Another morning was beginning, like the day before, and the next, an endless progression of days that seemed to hold no meaning.

“Things fall apart, the centre does not hold” I remembered reading somewhere, and the words fit the pattern of my thoughts. The thoughts of a teenager that indeed was prone to over dramatize, to try to fit my life into a poetry of sorts.

My eyes were dry and scratchy, the lack of rest cracking in the corners. One night? Two? More? I couldn't remember the last time I felt the peace of sleep and so wanted to be overcome.

I had come here alone to walk the shore, to wonder at the beauty, to find something I didn't know I was missing without knowing what that something was. There is no treasure map to follow when you don't know what you're looking for. My hands dug deep in the sand around where I sat, the grit of it caking under fingernails, not chewed but picked at, leaving them sharp, short and uneven. Sand sifted through hands that felt they could hold nothing and a heart that was learning not to try.

Then I spotted it, just an arms reach away, something catching the light in the sand; a small piece of glass, worn smooth around the edges, a milky opaque green created by water, and sand and time. I placed in the pocket of my jeans, rubbing it between my fingers and returned to treading along the beach.

And all at once, there was the day, stretching out before me as I wondered, “what next?”

I was too young to have no purpose, no goals, nothing to aim at. No course was set. No wonder time seem to stretch out endlessly, no scheduled separated the hours.

“I have nowhere to go and no one to be” I thought. “Did I ever have a plan?”

At fourteen I paced the shoreline and tried to remember dreams.

Stop over at Mylestones and share your flashback.

His Cross - my cross

It is a fine line my Lord asks me to walk

that narrow road from death to abundant life

to thank Him for His cross

and shoulder my own

My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 NLT

My spirit knows the truth of these words, but my flesh, oh, my flesh! Day by day, often moment by moment it struggles to ressurect itself. Perhaps this is what prompted Roy Hession to write in The Calvary Road:

But dying to self is not a thing we do once for all. There may be an initial dying when God first shows these things, but ever after it will be a constant dying, for only so can the Lord Jesus be revealed constantly through us.' All day long the choice will be before us in a thousand ways. It will mean no plans, no time, no money, no pleasure of our own. It will mean a constant yielding to those around us, for our yieldedness to God is measured by our yieldedness to man. Every humiliation, everyone who tries and vexes us, is God's way of breaking us, so that there is a yet deeper channel in us for the Life of Christ.

Help me look to Your cross and lay down my rights that Your life might be reflected in me, not to my credit Lord, but for the glory of Your Name.

Word Filled Wednesday - Seeds

Some skeptic is sure to ask, "Show me how resurrection works. Give me a diagram; draw me a picture. What does this 'resurrection body' look like?" If you look at this question closely, you realize how absurd it is. There are no diagrams for this kind of thing. We do have a parallel experience in gardening. You plant a "dead" seed; soon there is a flourishing plant. There is no visual likeness between seed and plant. You could never guess what a tomato would look like by looking at a tomato seed. What we plant in the soil and what grows out of it don't look anything alike. The dead body that we bury in the ground and the resurrection body that comes from it will be dramatically different. 1 Corinthians 15:35-38 The Message

Today Susan is hosting us at Forever His

Tuesdays Unwrapped - Patience

Image by Premier Packaging via Flickr

"Don't pray for patience" I have been warned more times than I can count. "The only way to develop more patience is through trials and tests." That's almost more than my impatient heart can bear, a heart that wants what it wants when it wants it. I'm the one you'd hear praying "Lord, give me patience and give it to me NOW."

However, today I am unwrapping the truth that my Lord keeps trying to teach me. If I abide in Him, I have access to all that He is. My patience will never be enough, but it's not about who I am, or what abilities I possess. It's about Who He Is and my choice to live in and through Him. He Is patient and I can allow His patience to have its perfect work in me.

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. James 1:2-4 NKJV

What treasure have you found today? Join Emily at Chatting at the Sky to share what you've unwrapped.

Have you opened the gift of abiding in Christ and experienced the joy and freedom it can bring to your life? Leave me a comment, I'd love to hear about your journey.

God, me, baseball and the church

I grew up in the Chicago metropolitan area, north side, far north side. That friends, would make me a Chicago Cubs fan. It also might explain part of the learned pessimistic anxiety I wrote about in yesterday's post. When you ride with the Cubs you hope for the best while expecting the worst, that way, you're never disappointed.

I admit that I was just a casual fan, without much real knowledge of the game, so it surprised me when Jesus spoke to me about His church using baseball terms. It would make sense for him to talk to Billy Coffey this way, Billy lives and breathes baseball, but me? I guess He is proving His Word:

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 1 Corinthians 1:27 NIV

So here is the journaling time I shared with my Lord:

Thank You Lord for Your everlasting presence in our lives. Thank You for speaking to Your bride in words and visions and scriptures. Today I choose You again Lord. I choose to serve no other gods. What would You like to say today?

I see a baseball diamond and You Lord are playing every position, both infield and outfield.

Yes, for I Am the only One Who would be able to Be all places, all things at all times. I Am that big and that powerful. As for you, in your world, you need each other. For you can only play one position at a time - one pitching, one catching, one for each base and so on. Your role may change from time to time as abilities and talents shift, but I have gifted you each for your area of service, to function with the help of others. Can all be first basemen? Are all called to left field? But let each one serve where they have been placed.

Think of the beauty and timing and intricacy of a triple play - each player focused on the task, aware of each other, moving with precision to accomplish what seems impossible.

My church can be like such. if you follow My lead, work as your part instead of attempting to be the whole. I created you to need each other. Together you can equal so much more than your scattered parts.

As each draws closer to Me, learning to practice My presence, so too must you practice the presence of each other to learn how to live and move and have your being together as one body. Think again of the baseball team - they only function well because of hour after hour of practice. Actions and reactions become almost automatic. They don't think "catch now throw" rather the body just moves. So too will My church operate when you learn to function as one.

You will see victory upon victory, even facing teams that seem impossible to beat.

You will be My mountain movers, filled with power by My Spirit. A team of those united in and by My Name. Unstoppable for My glory.