preparing for goodbye

The longest I have ever been away from home

for work, or pleasure, or short term mission

is three weeks, but now

we are in final preparation

for two years in Zambia and Malawi

the fulfillment of dreams brings

packing, paperwork, prayer

and a long series of goodbyes

perhaps one of the most difficult

will be the first, scheduled for Monday morning

my beautiful girl Faith

has grown stiff with age

the brilliant blue of her eyes

fading with years and pain

anti-inflammatory drugs

have given her time

to run, jump, play

enjoying the acreage

that has been her only home

Rick and I her only owners

she has known love

and given love

unconditionally

life has been good

and twelve years long

I cannot bear the thought

that she would continue to ache

or grow confused in our absence

waiting and wondering

when we would return

all this, and then the lumps

appearing at random

beneath her thick fur

forced this impossible decision

Monday morning

we will release her

back to her Creator

holding her paws, as the medicines 

remove the pain permanently

filling her with peace

a peace we can take comfort in

even as it will take longer

to find us

linking up with my friends at The Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

writing a life

in posts and tweets and status reports

it seems that more and more

of those I know, are writing books

in my honesty, transparency

I admit, here

that my heart stings, aches

turns toward envy

then, yes, then

I console myself with this --

they are writing books

but I am not still

I am writing a life

I have grown accustomed

to much time alone

to breathe, expand

ponder and play with words

now time rushes past me

filled with the tasks

of living my word for 2014

prepare

soon, in the blink of an eye

I will transition yet again

from preparation

to actualization

as we step into our new life

my heart both races ahead

and lags behind

and words will come 

when they will

joining Bonnie in a small act of creation

 

from home to house

four walls make a room

many rooms make a house

empty or filled

a house is a house

furniture begins to personalize

staking a claim

but still a house

just furnished well

the splashes 

art, pillows, collectibles

is what we use

to begin creating home

our insides displayed

in an external manner

this house has been home

a picture of who I have become

layered with sheep

pictures of Jesus holding lambs

crosses, candles

needlework done by my mother's hand

plants that thrived at Rick's touch

these are the things

I am packing with love

storing away

like memories safely filed

we have found people

who love this collection of rooms

and pray that they will splatter them

with new life, their lives

while we plan to learn

that our true home

is where ever He takes us

wrapped in His plans

His purposes

and His unfailing love

we shall move on

Yes, because God’s your refuge,

    the High God your very own home,

Evil can’t get close to you,

    harm can’t get through the door

Psalm 91:9-10 The Messsage

 

continuing to prepare

We are halfway into 2014

the year for which I was given 

the OneWord

prepare

I wrote about it here

as the year began

saying:

There is work to be done, but not in our own power.  

Only in Him can we accomplish anything.  

I am still learning to relax into the work He has already done

the work He is doing and

and the work yet for us to do

the first half of the year

the preparation was heart

and spirit deep

while we were learning to wait

now the pace has quickened

near frantic it seems

until I stop to breathe in Him

remembering to release

the small and the big details

as we pack things for storage

visit the medical clinic

presenting first one

then the other

arm for injections

vaccines to prepare our bodies

I make lists

of things yet to be done

and ponder the pain pricks

of farewells soon to come

the heart deep work will begin anew

on foreign soil

as this year ends and another begins

His Kingdom come

His will be done

in Canada

in Africa

in us all

 
Linking up and checking in at The Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

make yourself ready

Fellow blogger Beth has also sensed that her word for 2014 is PREPARE.  On Friday she blogged:

The second part of the definition from mirriam-webster.com is: to make yourself ready for something that you will be doing, something that you expect to happen, etc.

I instantly recalled the song the Lord gave me years ago, crying out not only to me, but to His church to prepare.

In the garden, in the spice grove,

I am waiting for you there

In the garden, I will linger

I am waiting for you, My bride to prepare

Make yourself ready, make yourself ready,

Make yourself ready for Me

And for all you cannot do

My Spirit I send you

Make yourself ready for Me

Oh the fragrance of the garden

Love everlasting and free

I will give riches of heaven

To the one who surrenders all unto Me

Make yourself ready, it's time to get ready

Make yourself ready for Me

For My bride must be pure

And My bride must be holy

Will you be ready for Me?

I am calling, from the garden

I am waiting for you here

But the time is growing shorter

And My message to you right now must be clear

Make yourself ready, make yourself ready

Make yourself ready for Me

Make yourself ready, you need to be ready

Make yourself ready for Me.

 

prepare ye

This song has been dancing about the edges of my mind since the beginning of the year, this year of preparation!  When I first saw Godspell I hadn't a clue about the good news.  But now...

listening

I took time in the silence of the early morning to sit in my Jesus chair, journal in hand, asking the Lord about the word I sensed He gave me for 2014.

Prepare.  That is the word I believe You gave me for this year beginning.  Was I hearing You correctly Lord?  Is there more you want to share today?

You listen well, little one.  I Am pleased when you search My Word to find My heart.  You are wise to acknowledge that all is in My hands and that your part is to surrender to My work.  Yes, much is being prepared for you.  Much has been prepared long, long ago, just waiting for you to walk the path you are now stepping upon.

I know what I know what I have always known.

The surprises that await you will not be a surprise to Me.  FInd strength and peace in that.

a bit later, as I was riding my recumbent exercycle, praising and praying, He added to His words:

Many take the fast road, most take the low road.  I have you on the high road, walking with Me.  And I built the road long, long before, knowing, always knowing you would be here now.

So let your life relax in Mine.  I have loved you from the beginning.  I know the plans I have. A good plan that has you standing in the light, carrying the light.

There will be a highway called the Holy Road. No one rude or rebellious is permitted on this road. It’s for God’s people exclusively — impossible to get lost on this road. 
Isaiah 35:8 The Message

 

prepare

Click here or on image to see a larger version

I wasn't sure if I was going to hear a clear word to walk me into this new year.  I decided not to press or force the issue, even though I felt a vague sense of disappointment.

Rick and I chose to spend our day, like most January firsts, reflecting and praying.  There is much ahead of us.  This will be a season of support building, planning and allowing God to bend, break and mold our hearts for the long term mission work awaiting us.

Then I experienced what could only be described as what people call a light-bulb moment.

Our word for 2014 flashed large, bright and clear.

PREPARE

There is work to be done, but not in our own power.  Only in Him can we accomplish anything.  I am still learning to relax into the work He has already done.:

Behold, I send an angel before you, to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place which I have prepared Exodus 23:20 RSV

the work He is doing:

Those who cleanse themselves from the latter will be instruments for special purposes, made holy, useful to the Master and prepared to do any good work 2 Timothy 2:21 NIV

and the work yet for us to do:

but in your hearts reverence Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to make a defense to any one who calls you to account for the hope that is in you, yet do it with gentleness and reverence 1 Peter 3:15 RSV

Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction 2 Timothy 4:2 NIV

Prepare your shields, both large and small, and march out for battle! Jeremiah 46:3 NIV

Go through, go through the gates! Prepare the way for the people. Cast up, cast up the highway! Gather out the stones. Lift up a standard or ensign over and for the peoples Isaiah 62:10 Amplified

A voice of one calling: “In the wilderness prepare the way for the Lord; make straight in the desert a highway for our God  Isaiah 40:3 NIV

Is the Lord whispering or perhaps shouting a word into your spirit to focus you in 2014?  Please feel free to share.

  jamming with Bonnie as the new year begins

walking in broken imperfection but graced by His love with Emily
 

See what shines...

Once again I am struck by the perfect timing of our God and the ways He chooses to confirm His words.

As I sat in the stillness before sunrise, journal in hand, He spoke:

Prepare for My coming

not merely with lights on a tree

but by allowing My light

to thrive in your heart

white hot

that others are warmed

by the intensity of its heat

Let testimonies of My faithfulness

be the ornaments you bear

and may all that glitters

glorify My name

A bit later, I read through my emails to fund this in an advent devotional from Bible Gateway:

We ask you, almighty God, let our souls enjoy this their desire, 

to be enkindled by your Spirit, that being filled as lamps by your divine gift, 

we may shine like burning lights 

before the presence of your Son Christ at his coming; 

through the same Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. 

--The Gelasian Sacramentary

Joining Emily and the broken yet redeemed