more goodbyes

I wrote here

when we gave final kisses, belly rubs

and words of farewell

to our sweet dog two weeks ago

two nights ago, Rick dismantled

his aquarium, gifting it and all the fish

to a younger relative

just a part of the series of goodbyes

that we are walking into

and through

the hummingbirds still hover

at feeders that will remain

to be filled with nectar

by the family soon 
to be renting our house

and the cats, three adults

two sets of three kittens

black and white all

will remain, another part of us

roaming the acres, taking refuge

in the barn

things will continue

here, in our absence even if

it feels a bit unsettling

to hand our lives over

to others

all this, and we haven't yet

begun the real work

of saying goodbye to

loved ones

eleven days and counting

the time is

now

sharing at The Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

hindsight-foresight

This weeks prompt at The Grove was hindsight
Danielle writes to a younger version of herself, newly arrived on the mission field and then asks us:

In hindsight, that’s what I’d tell my fresh-off the plane self.  What would you tell yours?

Since we are still two weeks from departure, I'll have to put a bit of a reverse twist on the question, speaking back from the future that hasn't yet arrived.

Karin--

breathe

big gulps of the fresh Canadian prairie air

take it in deep, pause

now exhale, let it all go

relax into the spin

the swirling rush, the imaginings

soon enough your eyes will see

ears hear, what you have only dreamed of

don't lose your last home moments

to worries of what you can not now know

your new life will have troubles of its own

unfolding in their own time

as will the blessings

you will weep

you will laugh

you will stand in awe

and you will be changed

breathe, pause, let it go

make room for all He has to give

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:34 The Message




joining in the conversation at The Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

packing

we are sorting through our life

in natural and physical ways

discarding, donating, gifting, selling and packing

there is the packing away

box after box after box

the wrapping, stacking, storing 

for a future time continues

but now also begins

the packing to go

sorting, stacking, sifting

with only two bags

and 40 kilograms each

books and other heavy things

must be selected with much thought

choosing the must haves

the wants and the maybes

preparing for two years

in the new, unknown

like walking blind

takes more faith than skill

I am leaning on the wisdom of those

who have walked a similar road

knowing that one day

I too will leave a trail of crumbs behind

for someone else to follow

He is sending me

He is taking me

I am packing Him

breathing in Him

loving Him with all my heart 

and with all my soul 

and with all my strength

Love God, your God, with your whole heart: 

love him with all that’s in you, love him with all you've got!

Deuteronomy 6:5 The Message

 

linking up at The Grove at Velvet Ashes talking about packing

 

preparing for goodbye

The longest I have ever been away from home

for work, or pleasure, or short term mission

is three weeks, but now

we are in final preparation

for two years in Zambia and Malawi

the fulfillment of dreams brings

packing, paperwork, prayer

and a long series of goodbyes

perhaps one of the most difficult

will be the first, scheduled for Monday morning

my beautiful girl Faith

has grown stiff with age

the brilliant blue of her eyes

fading with years and pain

anti-inflammatory drugs

have given her time

to run, jump, play

enjoying the acreage

that has been her only home

Rick and I her only owners

she has known love

and given love

unconditionally

life has been good

and twelve years long

I cannot bear the thought

that she would continue to ache

or grow confused in our absence

waiting and wondering

when we would return

all this, and then the lumps

appearing at random

beneath her thick fur

forced this impossible decision

Monday morning

we will release her

back to her Creator

holding her paws, as the medicines 

remove the pain permanently

filling her with peace

a peace we can take comfort in

even as it will take longer

to find us

linking up with my friends at The Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

enjoy

there is a sense of urgency

to the work I press myself to do

the packing, the paperwork

the running about to set things in place

this is new ground

never have we packed up a life

to leave it behind

crossing cultural bridges

to follow God's call 

to Malawi

Rick's last day at work is July 31st

the plan my mind holds

is to be finished or near finished

with all but the packing of suitcases

this will leave us

eighteen days in August

to gather with loved ones

those we have held

and will continue to hold

dear in our hearts

eighteen days

to dive into the work

of goodbyes

to embrace

to laugh

to cry

strange to think

that enjoy could describe tears

but oh, their taste

even salty

shall be sweet

sharing in community at the Grove at Velvet Ashes

 

dear frightened one

Dear younger self, 

frightened one:

You have come to a place 

where you can no longer deny 

the reality of the Lord's presence

how He had been calling and calling you 

and your closed ears would not hear.

You are ready to open your heart

to give Him room.

You have made a choice, a decision.

Those who have helped you along the way 

suggest you will soon become a mouthpiece for Him.

This is where the fear settles.  

You want to keep this private.

You respond with stubborn anger.

I don't want to be a ($@^#$* minister.

No one will make me talk about this.

Your fists are clenched

holding tight to your emotions.

You are not ready to see what I see now.

You can't see the fire that will settle 

deep in your bones and move your tongue

to not only speak

but shout, declare, sing His praise.

You can't see how the future spreads 

wide over years of learning to surrender.

But in time your eyes will open.

You will be where I am know

planning to travel to the other end of the world

to share His story, His wonder, His glory.

writing a letter to my self with Velvet Ashes








and joining Lisa-Jo where the word is see