13 August 2013

broken promise

the label screamed
bold colours shining
all you need
and more

popping the top
ready for fizz
sparkle, what was

I lifted the can
thirsty lips parted
head tilted just 
enough to receive
the quenching

all you need and more
the promise, broken 
as dry sand poured
taking breath 
leaving only

responding to the tweetspeak Poetry bottled and canned prompt surprise

and back at the bar tonight, hanging with the poets



Brian Miller said...

oh how terrible a mouth full of sand would be in that moment...but so many false promises out there are just as deadly....

Denise said...

Nice post.

Truedessa said...

It would be sad to to receive sand instead of a refreshing drink when one is thirsty for truth..

Stephanie McManus said...

It is a scary notion...like forgetting you are swimming underwater and taking a breath expecting air. Well done. I like the metaphor here and the startle it left me with in those last two lines.

Laurie Kolp said...

This makes me think of someone who's been on the wagon taking a drink of alcohol.

Monica Sharman said...

I really like this. And the title is perfect.

Ginny Brannan said...

Beware of promises made by those who are paid!
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Well penned.

AJ Collins said...

this is awesome! Love the metaphor! Great poem!

Mary said...

Great metaphor. So often what is promised (by promoters of one thing or another) is not delivered. What a clever poem!

Grace said...

Well that is disappointing indeed ~ How those labels can mislead ~ How people can break promises ~

Kathryn said...

Love how depict broken promises.

Beth Winter said...

False promises are simply temptation disguised as blessings. Much enjoyed.

Mystic_Mom said...

Nicely done! I love the promise of relief and the reality of sand. Well done!

Anonymous said...

good one...and truly a surprise.

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