the label screamed
bold colours shining
all you need
and more
popping the top
ready for fizz
sparkle, what was
promised
I lifted the can
thirsty lips parted
head tilted just
enough to receive
the quenching
all you need and more
the promise, broken
as dry sand poured
taking breath
leaving only
less
responding to the tweetspeak Poetry bottled and canned prompt surprise
and back at the bar tonight, hanging with the poets
13 comments:
oh how terrible a mouth full of sand would be in that moment...but so many false promises out there are just as deadly....
It would be sad to to receive sand instead of a refreshing drink when one is thirsty for truth..
It is a scary notion...like forgetting you are swimming underwater and taking a breath expecting air. Well done. I like the metaphor here and the startle it left me with in those last two lines.
This makes me think of someone who's been on the wagon taking a drink of alcohol.
I really like this. And the title is perfect.
Beware of promises made by those who are paid!
If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.
Well penned.
this is awesome! Love the metaphor! Great poem!
Great metaphor. So often what is promised (by promoters of one thing or another) is not delivered. What a clever poem!
Well that is disappointing indeed ~ How those labels can mislead ~ How people can break promises ~
Love how depict broken promises.
False promises are simply temptation disguised as blessings. Much enjoyed.
Nicely done! I love the promise of relief and the reality of sand. Well done!
good one...and truly a surprise.
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