the hard parts

This week Diana has us pondering what we do with the hard stuff in the Bible.

there are so many books to read

page after page after page

of words, facts or fiction

all of questionable veracity

all, but one

this, a letter written

from a heart of love

mercy, grace

a verbal portrait of the author

the perfector of our faith

given to be read

again and again and again

but never alone

with our own eyes and reasoning

the words are flat

ink on paper

beyond comprehension

all of it hard stuff

so I read with an interpreter

the Holy Spirit

gifted, poured out 

and into me

there are words of love

easy to swallow, sweet

and satisfying

but words of correction

direction, can taste dry

stuck in my throat

I can struggle to understand

make sense of things

on my own, choking

and remain unnourished

how much better

to request living water

and let go, trusting

He will make all things

the hard, complicated

sticky things

clear in His perfect timing

help me then, Lord

to remember to release it all

that my answer to 

what do I with the hard things?

would be

I lay them at His feet

living into the answers with Diana

 

giving up the "why"

The question Diana asks us to live this week is Why do bad things happen to good people?
I believe that question walks hand in hand with How can there be a loving God in a world where horrible things happen?

I have no answers

and I will not pretend to understand

or try to dig up reasons that sound like excuses

tears have wet pillows, cheeks streaked with why?

frustration grows at an accelerated pace

breathing fast until air is too thin to feed

I am learning to surrender

my need to know

giving up the why?

again and again

I find myself confessing

my heart on its knees

let it be enough to know that You know

so we can move on

to the now what?

remembering we are still in Your arms

even when nothing feels safe

or certain

help us turn the question 

on its head, and ask instead

why do we deserve all the good poured out upon us?

grace, Your grace alone

diving in with Diana

 

room for tears

This week Diana asks:

Is there room for my tears here? 

my younger self

was never known to cry

perhaps it was scolded out of me

having too often heard

"I'll give you something to cry about"

but my God gave me tears

when I surrendered to Him

my harsh and stoney heart

now I am known

as a woman who weeps

long and deep tears 

born of joy, pain, awe 

and intercession

the tears returned as a gift

to the Giver

the One Who fills

what I empty

I will not return

to the woman I was

no I would not

even if I could

so I answer 

a slightly angled version 

of Diana's question

there is no room here 

for the absence of tears

living into answers with Diana

 

giving no power to darkness

I had more than four decades behind me

before I came to faith, forty-three years

of directing my own story

comedy, tragedy, horror film

I laughed at the idea of sin, hell

didn't worry me, I joked

at least there I would finally be

warm

my dive into Jesus was fast

hard and deep

total submersion, much like baptism

even before I took that step 

of public declaration

acknowledgement of my filth

and forgiveness of the same

walked hand in hand

the exchange of my wretchedness

for His righteousness

a transaction solid and complete

abundant grace

that still brings me to tears

not because of who I was, or am

or will be, but only because

of Who He Is

nothing I can do to make myself better

but surrender to what He has

already done

so I need not think long about sin

I need not give too much power 

to the darkness, no

I won't deny His sacrifice

I instead choose freedom

choose light, choose life

But in our time something new has been added. What Moses and the prophets witnessed to all those years has happened. The God-setting-things-right that we read about has become Jesus-setting-things-right for us. And not only for us, but for everyone who believes in him. For there is no difference between us and them in this. Since we’ve compiled this long and sorry record as sinners (both us and them) and proved that we are utterly incapable of living the glorious lives God wills for us, God did it for us. Out of sheer generosity he put us in right standing with himself. A pure gift. He got us out of the mess we’re in and restored us to where he always wanted us to be. And he did it by means of Jesus Christ. Romans 3:21-24 The Message

joining Diana who asks What’s with all this talk about 'sin?'

 

Less of me

Diana's question this week is:

 “What’s with this ‘more of Jesus, less of me’ stuff?”

This seems to be a phrase
that falls freely from our lips
without much thought or reason
we say it
we sing it
we pray it
I wrote about it
in 2008, in 2010, likely just days ago as well

Then all that I am is all that He Is. Is this possible? To my natural mind it seems impossible to die to myself completely, it is not a natural act or process however, it is supernatural and can only be possible because of the Holy Spirit that indwells and guides me. My natural man fears death of self while my spirit man hungers for the same, to be totally lost and then totally found in Jesus.

This then, is the losing and the finding I have been seeking. I cannot strive toward it, this releasing of all that my "self" struggles to hold. Had I known how fierce would be the battle would I have dared begin?
Totally lost, totally found, totally His.
To exist as a reflection of His glory and His love.
There is no harder task.
There is no higher call.
In knowing I can not
I take the first step toward possibility.

Totally lost, totally found.
It is the world in me that I want to replace with the Christ in me.
That I might have space to be the real version of Karin.
The daughter He designed with great skill and precision
Not less, but more.
Fractures healed, imperfect perhaps
but complete in ways I can't quite imagine.

So as much as I am able, I pray
Continue to help me to surrender to Your work, Lord
in me, through me
that my unique spice and flavour
would bring glory to You name.

joining Diana in the depths
 

obedience?

For the first dive into her series Living the Questions/Living into the Answers Diana talks about obedience.  What a word.

My Who Is HisFireFly page boldly states:

I desire to walk in radical obedience to His voice

but what does that really mean to me?

I have followed rigorous Bible reading plans
learned much, but often felt lost at sea
I sensed Him telling me not bite off more
than I could chew, to read less, meditate more
allow Him, not a schedule to lead me

I attempted to be faithful in prayer
yet never fit the pattern
of warriors and intercessors
who tried to school me
no list of requests for me
instead I simply seek His presence
abide, wait, respond
He said

when you're breathing you're praying

so I relax into that

a few years ago
I sensed Him repeating to my spirit

On assignment.  My work.  Stay close and I will lead you

This is how I choose to live each moment.
Obedience. Radical and real.
This is how I will walk into whatever He future He has planned.
His will.  His way.  Any plan I could imagine or create cannot compare.

linking with Diana pondering obedience