Coming and going

The last minutes before leaving my country home behind
traveling from gravel to ten days of concrete
I say goodbye and hello

leaving home and going home

Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the country. 

Deuteronomy 28:3 NKJV

 joining Deidra's Sunday gathering.

 

Unfair trade

Eleven years ago I left city (suburban) lights behind me
moved from the Chicago area
to rural Manitoba
trading concrete for prairies
sidewalks for paths
asphalt for gravel roads
the roar of traffic for silence
broken only by birdsongs or a howling coyote

Yes, things are slower here
as I surrender to God's time
and savour the summer
life lived on porches, backyards
wide cottage decks on lake shores
breathing in fresh
and letting peace flow
time to connect
listen, pray
or simply watch in wonder, content

It was all a trade quite unfair
I gave up my life without God
for the one He chose for me
filling it with Himself
I received everything and more
for nothing at all
all because of His great love

Stop by Peter Pollock's to read more views of the word porch

Playing baseball with Jesus

My friend Jason, who pastors, exhorts and encourages at his blog Connecting to Impact is taking a much deserved holiday with his family.  While he is away soaking in sun, sand and sea, some of us are helping out with guest posts.  Today I'm there talking about God and me and baseball.

I grew up in the Chicago metropolitan area, north side, far north side. That, friends, would make me a Chicago Cubs fan. It also might explain part of my learned pessimistic anxiety. When you ride with the Cubs you hope for the best while expecting the worst; that way, you’re never disappointed....

To read the rest of the story, click HERE to visit Jason's place.

Farming words

For this round of the One Word at a Time Carnival, Peter chose the word farm.

I am blessed beyond measure that eleven years ago God chose to relocate me from the urban jungle of the Chicago Metro area to the rural Canadian prairies.  I write often about the beauty I see and the lessons He teaches me here.

We have been playing with wordles at Tweet Speak Poetry, so today I have chosen to create a wordle from my blog posts about farming life.


Click on image above to enlarge

 And now I take the words from this image to form a new poem:

Another season's
sweat
drops on the soil
seeds scatterd
in the abundance
of rain
pray for sun
something like
trust
knowing God
let go
of fear

Join in the sharing at Peter Pollock's - talking about the word farm.

Changing view

What has become familiar and dear, even in the bleak days of winter shall once again be left behind for a brief time as we swap country acres for urban sprawl.

Much of our time will be taken with the opportunity to commune with my mother.  We will share food, laughter, memories and tears, taking what we have to create what we need.

I will find my way here when I can, to pour forth the words He gives me and to catch up on those you share.

The blessing of a life lived online is that connections hold no matter where our bodies may abide!

If you feel so led, your prayers will be cherished.

Saturday tears

The pain in my lower back continues to keep me stiff and slow. Rain clouds gather then the wind blows them away. It is not rain falling here today, but tears. God is doing some digging and my emotions are right on the surface, raw and leaking.

The desk chair in front of the computer is where my back feels best, so I've been catching up on the Compassion Bloggers that are in Guatemala. My heart aches for the needs but the tears... they come because the love of Christ is so evident and His Name is being glorified. You can read their stories here.

All over the internet I see the question "Where were you nine years ago when the planes struck the Twin Towers?" and I know part of what is raging within is the feelings, memories and fears of that day.

On September 10th I was in Winnipeg to receive my official "landed immigrant" status, making me a permanent resident of Canada. Interesting timing indeed for this transplant from the U.S.A.

The morning of September 11, 2001 found me in the kitchen of a restaurant in our very small town in my new job as cook/waitress. The owner rushed in babbling about a crisis taking place. At first I thought that he was worried because there were more than two customers ordering at the same time, for people rarely wanted more than the $1.00 bottomless cup of coffee.

We didn't have a television, so he turned on the radio. I couldn't grasp what I was hearing. Not being able to see it made it seem all the more unreal. With most of my family in the Chicago area, another big financial centre in the States, I felt fingers of fear tightening around my thoughts. It got busy that day as people wanted to gather together to talk. I don't recall how long I worked. I think I must have quit early so I could get home to call my parents. I turned on the television and it remained on, playing and replaying horrifying scenes, till we finally went to bed late that night.

Yes, there was indeed a sense that nothing would ever be the same, but God was, as always, still on the throne. I believe what saddens me most today is not that we have forgotten, but how little change endured. We have returned to walking in our own strength, viewing life through our own understanding, falling back into a deep slumber after what should have shaken us awake forever.

What more must God allow before we surrender to His will and His ways?

Take a minute to click here to view a tribute edited by Jason Powers. As your tears join with mine, perhaps you will ask the Lord, as I am today, "What would You have us learn?"

Pleasantly random, yet disturbed

Image by dcdan via Flickr

I have a Benadryl hangover this morning. Took two last night with a prayer that the itching and swelling of 40 billion mosquito bites would cease.

Speaking of mosquitos (yes, again, sorry) I have been told they do indeed have a purpose, they are pollinators. I wish I didn't know that, makes it just a little bit harder to continue hating them.

I wandered out into the coolness of this morning to wiggle my toes in the wet grass, grateful beyond measure for the land that surrounds our home and supressed the wild urge to break into singing:

"Thank God I'm a country girl!"

The last ten years seem to have washed away any traces of urbanity (is this a word? if not, it should be).

Just noticed a tweet from @visitlpz (visit Lincoln Park Zoo) which is in Chicago and I did just that with my mom just last month. Tweet was "Come nose-to-nose with Holstein dairy cows at the Crown Dairy Barn in the Farm-in-the-Zoo Presented by John Deere at 10:30 a.m."

Face to face with cows is much more real to me now than face to face with buses, or subways, or tall buildings. I need not visit a zoo to see farm animals, merely wander down the road. And as for John Deere? We have neighbors and friends with blood that flows green and yellow!

No, I'm not sitting here with a bit of wheat straw sticking out of my mouth, I'm just sayin...

Life is good, God is great and I'll choose these prairies again and again.

Even with all the mosquitos....

Join us to read more and participate in Duane Scott's Pleasantly Disturbed Thursdays.

Time to breathe and share

It's been an intense time of prayer and battle for our church and region and I am taking some time to rest, breathe and share some of the love the Lord has poured into me.

Tomorrow I fly south to the Chicago area to spend a week with my mom. She is feeling well these days, not receiving any chemo treatments and I thought it would be nice for us to have time to just hang out and do things that would be fun for both of us.

There are so many things she has missed during the years she was taking care of Dad.

So, we might go to the zoo, to the botanical gardens, to the theater and perhaps even a riverboat casino. We will share memories and laughter and tears.

At times I know I will again feel just like the little girl that looked to Mom and Dad for all of my needs. That was before I knew the only One Who provides and I pray for opportunity to speak of Him.

Tuesdays Unwrapped - His placement

This is what home used to look like -- flat, concrete and steel, shades of gray.

This is what home looks like now -- prairie life, open space, greens and golds and brilliant blue. Mountains surround our region of Manitoba, setting us apart from the usual flatlands.

It is the hand of God that has directed my steps and as I submit to Him I am filled with the peace of knowing I am placed where He desires, whether for a season or a lifetime.

His heart led us to journey to Africa, and it will be by His direction that we return there -- or perhaps He has a totally different plan that He has not yet revealed. I am unwrapping the blessing of His divine placement. Let me take root in His house, wherever He chooses to plant me.

But the godly will flourish like palm trees and grow strong like the cedars of Lebanon. For they are transplanted to the Lord’s own house. They flourish in the courts of our God. Even in old age they will still produce fruit; they will remain vital and green. Psalm 92:12-14 NLT

Join Emily at Chatting at the Sky and let us know what you've unwrapped today

Out of touch

We have arrived safely after our day of travel yesterday.

There will be little time for blogging while we are here dealing with all of the family health issues, but I will try to stop in and update whenever possible.

At all times and in all things, I must remember that God Is, Was and always will Be in control.

Your prayers are cherished.

Word Filled Wednesday - Mirror

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. James 1:23-24 NIV

This is a picture taken at Millenium Park in Chicago as people gather around the giant mirrored Bean sculpture.

is being hosted this week by Penny Raine

Why am I crying?

Image by fsse8info via Flickr

While I was flying home on Monday I was thinking about how every chance I had to be alone, tears would fall. I would cry in the shower, in the car, walking down hallways and in elevators.

I was journaling and thanking God for the journey and He gave me the following word:

Yes, I am doing something with your heart, little one, and it is bursting, outgrowing its shell and so you need to weep. Weep and wail. Weep and moan. Weep and laugh. For I am filling you with more than you can hold. The tears leak out to release the pressure. I know what I am doing, little one, trust that even when you can trust nothing else. There will yet be greater joy.

Saying Goodbye

I fly off tomorrow to the Chicago area to care for and help my mother. Tonight will be the last night Rick and I spend together until I return home on Monday, September 28th. We have not spent more than two nights apart since I moved here in July of 2000, so forgive me if I dabble in melodrama for a few moments. I googled quotes on goodbyes and found a few I quite like:

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected." Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

Rick and are united in heart and spirit, but oh, for the flesh to be apart, to not be able to touch, and kiss and snuggle shall be painful indeed.

"Missing someone gets easier every day because even though it's one day further from the last time you saw each other, it's one day closer to the next time you will."
Author Unknown

What a positive way of looking at things. I think I'll adopt this approach and instead of thinking how long I'll be away, I'll rejoice in how soon we will reunite!

"Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." Francois Duc de la Rochefoucauld, translated from French

I know that God desires to do a great work in both of us while we are apart, and I pray that He draws each of us closer to Himself as well as causing our love for each other to grow deeper and burn hotter. What joy will fill every fibre of my being when I return home to the flames!

"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and shall be united firmly (joined inseparably) to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder (separate)." Matthew 19:5-6 Amplified

Wildlife?

As I struggle being away from the wildness of nature in the life I've grown to love, I was happy to see ducks and bunnies as we sat around the pond at the care home my father lives in.

I believe God desires to comfort and please me by giving me glimpses of His creation in the most unlikely places. We will be looking for gardens, colour, life and light as we continue our time here.

I will praise You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,

And I will glorify Your name forevermore.

Psalm 86:12

Did I live here?

I have been in rural Manitoba for nine years now. Each time I fly into the Chicago area I feel more estranged and find it unbelieveable that I could ever have lived in such an atmosphere.

Big. Busy. Loud. Filled with things that can distract from the purposes of God. And we haven't even been to the city yet!

Preparing to go

It's time again for our twice yearly trip to the Chicago area to visit my Mom and Dad. We drive 3/4 of the way to the airport in Winnipeg tonight. Tomorrow morning we will gather with others we can now call friends at the Vineyard in Portage La Prairie to worship and pray. Then we will finish the drive, do a bit of shopping and fly out in the late afternoon.

As Rick worked today I tended to the things that must be done before we go. I drove Faith to the kennel where she will be well taken care of until we return. I have packed, checking and rechecking to be sure we have the essentials we need. Because I always like to come home to a clean, freshly made bed, I stripped the linens this morning and replaced them with crisp fresh sheets. I washed and dried the sheets and then neatly folded, I placed them back in the linen closet.

Keeping busy seems to distract me from the thoughts whirling in my mind. What will Dad be like when we go to the care home to visit? How tired and weak will Mom be as she greets us with a hug and kiss tomorrow night? Will her biopsy scheduled for next week give the doctors any more information than the last (read about that here)?

Okay.. deep breath..pause.. remember that I serve a very big God.

I am jumping into Your arms Father, bringing all my worries with me to surrender to Your care. All I need do is abide in Your love and allow that love to work in me and through me. Have Your way, Lord God in all that I say and all that I do, that I would diminish as You expand. Give me words, Holy Spirit to speak to those dear to me that do not yet know You, that they might taste of the peace that comes from walking hand in hand with Jesus. It is in His name I pray.

Chicago

Just a brief hello for those of you that might be missing me and wondering where we are. Was I ever really a Chicago girl?

This now country girl is back in the city on holidays, thanking her Lord that He has so changed her life in the past eight years. (Hmmmmmmmm, 8, new beginnings again)

The pace of life here is absurdly fast for no good reason. I feel like I need to catch my breath.

We spent last night on Navy Pier. Ride on the giant ferris wheel where Rick was able to shoot these pictures, dinner, Cirque Shanghai then fireworks.

Yes, it's a very nice place to visit, but how did I ever live here?