knock away, I will not answer

back in March

I joined a movement

to smash a love idol

the need to please

anyone, anything

but my Lord

a cross of ashes

began a time 

of letting go, shaking 

off, breaking loose

to live free

between the dust 

of forming and the dust 

of dying

hunger for approval

prowled, scratched

knocked with uncommon

intensity, making itself

known in deviousness

the Holy Spirit held

a mirror, reflecting

heart deep, exposing

dark, need, ego

resurrection Sunday dawned

clouded, chilled

but as always filled

with unstoppable light

even when unseen

I live here, between

the forming 

and the dying

purposed on freedom

yes, the idol still knocks

with predictable vigor

and tenacity

with Christ risen, alive

in me and stubbornness 

of my own, like a child

 sticking fingers in my ears

I will not listen

I will not answer

unless and until

I hear my Shepherd's 

true voice