15 October 2009

Feeling lost

I haven't had access to my regular email account since mid-day Tuesday. I do not know why the account has been locked and can only wait while the situation is being investigated.

I am mad. I am sad. I feel out of sorts and out of touch. I also feel a deep sense of conviction by the Holy Spirit because this truly should not matter quite as much as it does!

Who is it that I really serve?

No servant can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. Luke 16:13a NIV

I pray that I learn to lean on my true Master during this time, that I might honestly and whole heartedly declare -

But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD." Joshua 24:15 NIV


sailorcross said...

Oh, I know this feeling. I've been away from blogging for quite a while now and I just deleted over 1500 emails that I couldn't seem to get around to reading over the past couple of weeks.

And yes, I have to say I had the same conviction of the Holy Spirit.

God has brought me through this time feeling closer to Him and more acutely aware of His presence than I have ever been.

It's been a rough and tough summer--moving into the fall with a new baby coming into the family soon. Some things are still so up in the air...and finally, yes, finally I was able to completely surrender it all. None of this is in MY control....God knows the situation and HE KNOWS the best solutions.

Again and again--surrendering, trying to control....surrendering, trying to control.....going round and round in circles....until God broke me enough to just give in.

Thank you. God, for hanging in there with me and loving me more than I could ever imagine!!


Shannon said...

Thanks for sharing so honestly. The idols in our lives don't seem to be as obvious as the idols in the lives of the Israelites when we read about them in the Old Testament. But they are just as real. And just as ridiculous compared to the goodness of the Lord.

Brooke McGlothlin said...

My followers haven't gotten a new feed from me since Sept 29. I have NO idea why and no one will help me. I SO get what you're talking about.

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