Late this afternoon the sun finally began to warm the day and I took books, Bible, journal and coffee out to the deck to spend time with my Father. I was pondering the following quote by Zelda Fitzgerald:
"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much a heart can hold"
With Faith resting beside my chair I had the following journaling conversation with Him:
Lord God, I can feel Your hand squeezing my heart, as if You are softening, pulling and stretching it to hold more. Is it You leading me to the books I'm reading, the movies I watch, all of which leave me awash in tears, sniffling and breathless? Are you planting something new within me or simply watering what You planted at an earlier time? I want to be more like You and less like me Lord.
I created you to be you, little one, but in My own image. You are a reflection of Me, a way for the world to see Me. So, you want to be My hands? You want to be My feet? That is why you are learning to weep, child, for indeed when you lok through My eyes there is much to weep for.
You are right to discern that this is all training for what lies ahead, for the needs are not diminishing, rather growing at a rapid pace. My Father worked through Me when I walked the earth, and now He must work through those I have chosen and called and set apart.
Lord, I've been thinking about what it means to be set apart and doing what I believe You desire of me, but I'm not sure I truly understand.
Study My Word, little one, soak in what I have already said and allow Me to speak new life into old truth. Let Me open your ears as I am opening your heart. You have not set yourself apart, for it is not your task, but Mine and I have called you out, set you aside and marked you as My own long ago.
Now you are unfolding into that destiny. You will learn to weep. You will learn to ache. You will learn to bleed. My tears. My pain. My blood. And I and My Father will be glorified.
"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart" Jeremiah 1:5a NIV