crossing over

I have at long last shared on my Hearing Right blog

for indeed I am struggling in the

not hearing right

you can catch up here Frustrated and desperate

 

gift multiplied

I have shared previously about a unique way the Lord has of getting my attention:

Some years ago, I began to hear a quiet, gentle, metallic tinkling sound like wind chimes. This could happen anywhere, and there were no chimes present. After the chimes I would sense a thought from God, a short word of comfort, encouragement or direction. This happened so often that I began to realize that He had gifted me with the sound of chimes as a sign that He wanted to speak to me, so each time I head them I would become silent and still, waiting in faith for Him to speak. He never disappointed me. 

The acoustic neuroma on my left side has left me with profound tinnitus, a ringing, roaring, whooshing noise that combines with hearing loss in that ear.

In the stillness of this morning's first light, I opened my journal and my heart to commune with Him:

The ringing in my ears is constant now and can distract me if I allow it and it occurred to me this morning that it might be blocking the sound of chimes You gave to me to capture my attention - but I sensed You wanting me to know it is a multiplication of the gift

Yes, you listen well

when you tune your inner ears

the ringing is ever present

as I Am ever present

always ready to speak

to one who is ready to hear

What seems a human imperfection

can work to our advantage little one

though it is harder for you

to hear the words of man

it stands as no barrier

to hearing My voice

and who's words do you need?

 

Clutter to praise

Clutter is the word we're looking at for this week's Faith Jam.

I'm breathing deep, seeking clean, almost empty.
Trying to be clear of the voices in my head that whisper, snicker, shout,
never speaking truth

Now I can cast out the clutter of thoughts about the gamma knife radiation treatment I just went through this week.  With it behind me there is space for new things, positive things, His things!

The clutter of white noise, tinnitus that roars in my head will not go away, all the treatment can do is perhaps prevent things from getting worse.  I'd like to believe that I'll find a way to transform the noise into a type of worship.  From clutter to praise, for His glory.

 

Jamming with Bonnie

 

Moving down the road

The road stretches out before me

clouds and blue

in this winter cold

tomorrow is another step

another mile

but never am I alone

 

New blog announcement

Yesterday I was offered an appointment on January 24th for Gamma Knife Radiosurgery to treat the acoustic neuroma that has robbed most of the hearing in my left ear.

When I was first diagnosed last year I sensed that God might want me to record my journey so that my trials might not be wasted and instead would help others travelling a similar road.

To that end, I have created a new blog titled Hearing Right.  Please feel free to walk with me there.

Bridges to cross

Yesterday we spent hours walking along the Saskatchewan River, choosing to make a holiday out of my need to be here to meet with a neurosurgeon this morning.

We climbed stairs to reach a foot bridge that spans the river.

It reminds me that the best way to find my way across any difficulty is to look up.

I look to you, heaven-dwelling God, look up to you for help. Psalm 121:1 The Message


 

When you say "anything"

There are times we pray safe
"Lord, I'll do as you say, go where you send me"
as long as it fits our schedule
as long as we can understand His request

And there are times we pray dangerous
when we declare
"Lord, let Your will, not mine be done
glorify Yourself in my life
whatever it is you want from me
 I'll do anything"
and in that moment of surrender
we think we can imagine what anything might mean

but...
anything means anything

For now, the anything He has chosen
is for me to walk through a medical condition
I would not have expected
that creates the need for skull base and neuro surgery
this will entail much travel between home
and Saskatoon where my medical/surgical team will be based

Perhaps as a dear friend prayed for me on Sunday
this is more than a medical journey
but a mission as well
I will certainly be meeting many new people along the way

in the days, weeks and months to come
if He asks it of me
you may find me writing
about my journey through the trials of an acoustic neuroma
about consults, surgery and the recovery process

I ask for your patience
your questions
your grace
and for your prayers
that He indeed will be glorified
in the way I walk this out.