crossing over

I have at long last shared on my Hearing Right blog

for indeed I am struggling in the

not hearing right

you can catch up here Frustrated and desperate

 

New blog announcement

Yesterday I was offered an appointment on January 24th for Gamma Knife Radiosurgery to treat the acoustic neuroma that has robbed most of the hearing in my left ear.

When I was first diagnosed last year I sensed that God might want me to record my journey so that my trials might not be wasted and instead would help others travelling a similar road.

To that end, I have created a new blog titled Hearing Right.  Please feel free to walk with me there.

Hearing or listening?

Are your spiritual ears as active as your natural senses?

I'm sharing over at Internet Cafe Devotions today

about listening and hearing...

 

Missing...

I thought I'd write tomorrow's blog post this afternoon, for tomorrow I shall be away, not at home, not near a computer, missing...

I remembered that tomorrow should be the One Word At A Time Carnival, so I clicked over to Peter's to see what word was scheduled -

missing

Yet again, I love God's timing and sense of humor.

I will be a few hours from here, booked for magnetic resonance imaging of my brain, which I know is surely not missing but perhaps altered in some way that may be responsible for the nerve damage that is causing the rather severe hearing loss in my left ear.

There is much I do not hear, much that I am missing when I grow weary of asking "what?" for the third or fourth time.  Sounds are jumbled, foggy, muted and the roaring in my head often leaves me tired indeed.

I am missing quiet, missing nuance, missing connections...

but in all this, He Is, always, and never missing at all.

Joining the crowd at Peter's place talking about missing

 

Open ears

My Mom - who has unimpaired ears!

I have known for quite a long time (as have many of you who engage in face to face conversation with me) that I have struggled with hearing loss in my left ear.  Too often I need to ask for words to be repeated and even then I often give up in frustration before truly understanding what is being said. 

I have attributed this to aging and genetics and grown somewhat used to turning my good right ear toward sounds I am trying to capture.  I've gotten accustomed to missing much of what is said in movies or on television.  I've even used the impairment to my advantage, pressing my good ear hard into the pillow at night so I don't hear Faith when she goes on a barking spree.

I have both complained and made jokes about the problem.  It was only when the ringing and roaring in my ear became a constant distraction that I decided to seek help.

A visit with an ear, nose and throat specialist confirmed my difficulties.  Monday's testing with an audiologist measured the extent of the problem.  Something has damaged the nerve, the loss is defined as permanent and an MRI is scheduled for the end of May to investigate the cause.

It seems like a long time to wait and ponder.  I will continue to release all of this into His hands, willing to be a sign and a wonder if He should choose to restore what has been called unrecoverable.

I will continue to open the ears of my spirit, which operate on a different wavelength.  Hearing His voice doesn't need my damaged nerve, it simply needs my hungry heart.