This week Kim asked: What is one thing you were convicted about when you were younger, but now being older and wiser you have changed your mind on that belief? Why? Or on the other side, what is one thing you may have not held a conviction on that you now do? Why?
I knew my issue the moment I finished reading the question, for the change in me was so dramatic that it was a defining moment in my walk with the Lord.
I lived 43 years without knowing Jesus, and even though God had chosen me as His own, I walked in darkness. I will save my salvation story for another time, but you needed to know just how long the world had seeped into and ruled my life. Redemption and rebirth are astounding. His great love and grace beyond words. I was surely a new creation. My views on moral issues seemed to change in an instant. I suddenly saw right from wrong. Many shades of grey turned black and white.
And yet…
I struggled with the issue of abortion. It was a choice I believed I would never make for myself, but I still felt strongly that a woman had the right to choose that road if she felt it best. I spent much time feeling that I must not be a “good enough” Christian if I could still hold this belief. I remember telling someone that God Himself would have to change my mind.
How many of you know what happens if you give God a challenge?
One night, about five years ago, after crawling into bed, reading, praying, wishing my beloved goodnight, listening to the rhythm of his breathing as he drifted to sleep, I began to think of two women in our life that were pregnant. I knew I was to pray for them. As I began, I sensed I was to pray for all pregnancies. I sensed the Lord asking me “And what about those that are ended by abortion, almost before they begin?”
“Yes, that’s sad, Lord” I replied, “and I would never do that, but I still think the woman has the right to choose.”
There should have been thunder and lightening, for the Lord’s answer exploded in my spirit.
“You have no rights! I have ALL the rights.”
Something in me broke, and I began to weep without restraint. I repented for ever having held the belief that abortion was a valid option. I prayed for those women who had made that choice, that they would learn forgiveness and grace. I prayed for the children who were never born. I prayed for those who were missing siblings that had not been born, and wondered if their spirits could sense the lack. I cried and I prayed and I prayed and I cried. When morning dawned after this sleepless night of tears I knew my beliefs were forever altered.
If you think God doesn’t want to talk with you, or doesn’t answer prayers, just ask Him to change the parts of you that are misaligned. He is faithful to answer.
Join us this week at http://www.internetcafedevotions.com/2008/08/august-23rd-cafe-chat.html and share your answer to Kim’s question.
10 comments:
Awesome... I loved reading your answer and thought about writing on the same topic. My kids wrote on my blog yesterday aboug prolife, and to add to it I found a great quote by a woman who survived a horrible abortion. She said "If abortion is merely about women's rights, then what were mine?"
Wow! Thank you for sharing your heart. This was an awesome post that I wish so many out there could read.
I'm so glad that you came to know Jesus at 43. I bet that's an interesting story. What you said about God having all the rights can be applied to every area of our lives. It's something that I don't think about too much though, especially when most people in the world are really into their rights. I'll be thinking about this statement over the next for days, for sure.
Very powerful post. I've always been pro-life, but this was a new look at the reasons why!
Wonderful post!! I, too, felt the same way--that a woman had a right to decide if she should continue a pregnancy or not. I looked at my two daughters as they grew into teenage years and young adulthood, and still agreed with this.
Then God also spoke to me on this issue through a woman I know that works at a pregnancy center.
Who am I? Who am I to decide that God's creation should be destroyed? Who am I?
Thank you posting this and bringing this issue again to the front of my mind.
Beth
This issue is very close to my heart...
Thankyou for sharing your insights.
Wow. That's pretty powerful. I too at one time felt that abortion was a valid choice. God has since convicted me otherwise and I also shed many tears.
"A woman's choice" is a phrase that's been abused and used incorrectly for a long time.
Every woman DOES have a choice: only her (our) choice lies in when and with whom we CHOOSE to be intimate with!
When we get pregnant, it's a consequence (good or bad, wanted or not) of our CHOICE.
There's a BIG difference between this truth and the way the world uses "a woman's choice."
Great post. BTW, I had a similar immediate conversion in my thinking at the age of 22. :-)
There is a proverb in my language (yoruba) which goes something like: you can't create an ant, so why do you step on it? Or something like that anyway.
I love that part about God having ALL the rights...it's so true!
I really love this post; wonder how I missed it.
I already read this before, but it's good to go back and read again because it cements the convictions that I have now in my heart and mind.
All the changes that God has wrought--how wondrous and amazing!!
And, just think--we're still works in progress--just like my knitting--works in progress.
One difference--my knitting projects can and will be completed (for the most part), and our lives will never be fully completed until we met Jesus face to face. There will always be something that God is working on, and I am so grateful for that--He has never let me go--sometimes I wonder why--but I know that I am unconditionally loved. Where else in this world can you find that?
Talk to you soon!
Beth
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