02 May 2013

Muffled

The new fall of snow
began on April's last day
and dragged into the start of May
an outward expression
of my own muffling.

I have been quiet here
in my home
in my heart
holding it still
at the edge of the waterfall
fearing the rapids
could wash me far 
lost downstream
from the me I have known
daughter, child 
to those who raised
and loved me
and are no more.
Yet never an orphan
for I am His.

"Now you can reinvent yourself"
whispered my sister-in-law
on the day I left what will never again
be my parent's home.

The tears will start, stop
start again
as memories rush in

I will share when I can
as I find my footing
in a world forever altered.

“I will not leave you orphaned. I'm coming back. 
In just a little while the world will no longer see me, 
but you’re going to see me because I am alive 
and you’re about to come alive. 
At that moment you will know absolutely that I'm in my Father, 
and you’re in me, and I’m in you.


Walking with Emily and the broken redeemed

 

8 comments:

Dianne said...

Oh my--this is so poignant and I know so much the pain of which you speak--and my heart cries with you--
God has blessed you with a very unique and special talent--thank you so much for sharing it with us.

lorisprayercloset.com said...

Oh, I am hushed with this one. I still have my own dear Mom and Dad but they are in their eighties...I can't imagine not having them, my life has been so centered around them since forever. I will pray you find comfort in the Father's arms in this season. Lori

Mia De Vries said...

I am so sad to hear of your pain and loss. To close the door on that part of your life is so difficult. I remember when my father passed away, my world nearly fell apart, but He is faithful and carries us when we cannot walk one more step.
Blessings from Emily's.
Mia

Nancy Sturm said...

This is so touchingly bittersweet, just like this life we live. Thank God he wipes away all our tears. Beautiful post; thank you for sharing.

Lisa notes... said...

I still sometimes feel orphaned myself. Both my parents died in 2010, and it was such a strange feeling then (and often now) to know that two people who loved me almost as much as anyone ever will, are now gone on. But you're right that we are not left alone; Jesus is ALWAYS with us and always will be. Such a blessing in that.

Megan Willome said...

I've lost a parent, and believe me, it's something you can talk about. There are other things you can't.

diana said...

This is just lovely, Karin - thank you for beginning the conversation with such beautiful words. May the peace of Christ seep into your very pores, providing comfort, release, gratitude and eventually, celebration of all that is lost --- and all that is found.

Sheila said...

This is so beautiful, Karin. It says so much about your mom--and you.

I'm sitting in the quiet with you, Karin. It's that peace that surpasses all understanding--we need this quiet to feel it, to inhabit it.

The words will come when they're ready. Trust me.

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