11 February 2010

A day adrift

I have spent the day adrift, living in an odd sense of being unattached while at the same time totally connected to my Lord. I have moved in and out of times of prayer. I am in new territory, and every time I plant my foot it feels as if the ground shifts. I imagine it would feel the same walking on a trampoline. But I know that I am indeed rooted and grounded in the truth of His promises.

He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. Psalm 40:2b NLT

Life spins around me with a rhythm of its own and I reach out to grab hold of ... air. Time is both my enemy and my friend. I wonder if time has meaning at all for my father as he drifts in a world we cannot decipher. We, his family, in varying stages of letting him go, cannot know if he is holding on or releasing his grip. Does he know that death comes knocking? Has he yet considered that the sting of death can be neutralized, removed?

Death swallowed by triumphant Life! Who got the last word, oh, Death? Oh, Death, who's afraid of you now? 1 Corinthians 15:55 The Message

I pray in this final span of time my father will indeed be rescued, not from death in this world, for that will surely come, but from eternal spiritual death.

Ron Hutchcraft has been quoted as saying: "Every single person who has Christ in their heart has been positioned by God to be a rescuer to people who are spiritually dying."

I must say yes to His positioning. I must say yes to His timing. I turn again to seek His face and ask Him to show me what it would look like to share with my father.

I see myself beside the care home bed, taking his hand, pale and cool into the wamth of my own. My voice soft, almost a whisper, the feathers of angel wings, as I say "It's okay Daddy. You don't have to be afraid. Jesus is waiting for you." And then, the holy hush of a moment lived in obedience.

I return again and again to the vision on this day adrift.

We will wait for days, or weeks, or months. Time set apart in time. Like a breath caught, our lives and plans continue yet hang suspended.

I have never been good at waiting. The great Teacher is in the middle of His lessons.

Picture found at http://www.alifeadrift.com/2009/02/auspicious/

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Bonnie Gray said...

I didn't know all this was happening! ... Thank you for sending out a tweet about it. I'm praying for you right now. I pray you will drift into God's comfort and those of us who are your friends! What a sweet and tender daughter you are. He is so loved.

Kelly Langner Sauer said...

Yes, thank you for sharing. You are in my thoughts this evening...

Erin @ Closing Time said...

What beautiful reflections on such a difficult season. May the Lord give you strength and carry you and your family. You are in my prayers!

S. Etole said...

this is my first visit here and I feel like I have intruded upon a very tender, fragile time ... God is with you

Shelby said...

My heart and my prayers go out to you and to your family.

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