20 June 2009

Cafe Chat Week of June 20th

Kim's question this week is: "Name 3 qualities or characteristics of a good/close friend. Explain why the qualities or characteristics you listed are important to you in your friendships" I wasn't expecting this question to move my heart to dig this deeply, and my reply follows:

Integrity -- "Integrity may be seen as the quality of having a sense of honesty and truthfulness in regard to the motivations for one's actions. The term "hypocrisy" is used in contrast to integrity" from Wikipedia

Transparency -- "Transparency, as used in the humanities and Pilatian theories, when used in a social context, implies openness, communication, and accountability. It is a metaphorical extension of the meaning a "transparent" object is one that can be seen through." from Wikipedia

Love -- "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

It does not seem possible for me to have a genuine friendship if the people involved are not genuine as well. When I invest myself in a relationship I am looking for something more than icing on a cake, I'm looking for bread, for meat, for accountability. I have known many women who I can enjoy spending time with, having fun and sharing a moment, but if it never goes any deeper than that, they may join my list of "girlfriends" but they do not become what I consider a "good friend" or someone I enter into a covenant relationship with.

A covenant friend is consistent and true to who God created them to be, bearing the mark of integrity. A covenant friend will allow me to see who they are, on good days and bad. That kind of transparency builds trust and history. It allows me to heed the words of the Apostle Paul "Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others' joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others' grief]." Romans 12:15 Amplified

A covenant friend will speak to me about the "hard things" in life and because I know they are speaking in love I am able to receive their words. For the same reason, they allow me to speak into their life also.

What qualities do you seek in a "good friend"? Join Kim at Cafe Chat and share your thoughts.


Shelby said...

I love this post! You really DID dig deep for this one! Love your blog and so glad I found you!

Toknowhim said...

You really did a good job at answering today's question...you know when you use the verse about what love really is according to God's word, it takes it to another level for sure...

Thanks so much for sharing, and remember we are switching the Cafe Chat day to Thursdays from now on...

Blessings, Kim

Brook said...

Wonderful job! I agree whole heartedly. :)

sharon said...

Definitely deep. Covenant friendship seems to be beyond the reach of so many people these days, but it's really the only kind that really matters in the long run. I would love to be a covenant friend.

Thanks so much for sharing.

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