after taste

I have no talent

for delicacy

my cakes are sugar coated

not my opinions

I am better built to mince meat

than words

my feet are long, heavy

you know I never could walk

on eggshells

without leaving a trail 

of destruction

so I crack with intention

whisking in fresh air

adding leaven, spice, sweet

the resulting treat

has substance

layered perhaps with contradictions

but genuine

with the lingering after taste

of truth

Hanging out at the pub for Open Link Night

 

Confessions of a reformed chameleon

Image found at 
http://facinatingamazinganimals.wordpress.com/2012/07/01/visits-from-a-chameleon-other-animals/ 

In my younger years I did not know who I was. I seemed to have no identity of my own. Convinced that I was in some way defective I sought the approval of others.  If someone, anyone, thought I was okay then maybe I was good enough after all.

For the sake of fitting in I could change my words and actions so fast that a chameleon would swoon with envy.  Certainly all the colours were beautiful, but it was exhausting trying to keep track of who I was with each person I knew.  I was terrified of having my friends together in one place and having to try to be just one me.  My life moved along in a blur, seeming unreal because I was not real.

Dictionary.com defines sincere as follows:

adjective, sin·cer·er, sin·cer·est.
1. free of deceit, hypocrisy, or falseness; earnest: a sincere apology.
2. genuine; real: a sincere effort to improve; a sincere friend.
3. pure; unmixed; unadulterated.
4. Obsolete . sound; unimpaired

How could I be genuine if I didn't even know who I was?

Then I met the One Who created me, Who had waited with exquisite patience for me to open my eyes and heart to Him.  No longer was I a defective mistake but instead a woman of grand design; chosen before time began, perfected by His Spirit in me.  In the years that followed He has continued to release me from the need of man's approval.  I am free to simply be.

Real. Genuine.  Free of deceit.  Pure, unadulterated me.  I am a living, breathing example of WYSIWYG what you see is what you get. Many are not sure what to do with me. Often bold, sometimes brash, seeking courage when fear sneaks in.  I will tell you what I think as my heart opens to pour out what I feel.

I expect the same from others.  Sadly, I am more than often disappointed.  I pray that all would step into the freedom I have found.

To breathe in, breathe out and be who you are.

Joining Peter and the rest talking about the word sincere

Seeking real

I like to think of myself as a disciple of Jesus
listening, watching, following
His call to abide the song that heats my blood
stirs every fibre, urging me on
to be ever more like Him
in thought, in word, in action
this is my desire.

This too, is where I fall ever short
so unlke Him, so much like me
this tangled maze of raw emotion

This is where it gets messy
when the inside leaks through cracks
to hide behind the mask of perfect Christ likeness
like so many others accomplish with ease
is a lie I cannot tell
my skin too thin to cover
so seeking real I spill out here
recognizing He already knows my ugly

Where I want to find love for those who have wounded me
I have found the storehouse empty
old cuts still sting, bleed fresh tears

yet in that salty confession
waits thousands of second chances....

Walking with Emily and the wounded, imperfect but wholly loved