notes to Mom

four months, or days

or years my tears have fallen 

hard and fast this week

small seeds of ache

sprouting and swollen

fill me with memories

hard and sweet

so much of you lives on in me

the sharp impatience, the need to be

right at any cost

the stiff and painful joints

but also the curiosity, playfullness

and the love, above all

the heart filled with love

and the need to care for

life is picking up speed

down here, where you no longer

have your being

so much I would share

and wonder if you know

somehow

and if you miss me too

walking with Emily, broken, redeemed and thankful